evolution of evotia

2012 Lolotai-Johnson Bucket List

2012-01-02T16:16:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year!

So this year, we've decided to forget the resolutions.. they've never work for me! Instead, we've applied ourselves to completing a bucket list within a year (I mean really..why make death the deadline?)!

As a family, we have decided to shake it up and came up with the following:

NYLA ROSE to be fully potty-trained by the end of the year (we're shooting for her birthday, but we had to start somewhere. AND please spare us the "your-child-should-be-trained-already" comments and looks, you're welcome to come and train her for us.. but she is only 2 for crying out loud!).

TUNOA to ride a bicycle without his training wheels + tie his own shoes.

See each set of parents at least twice (of course, we'll take more if at all possible!)

See all 3 of our grandmothers at least once (not that we love them any less.. they're just all ova da place! and of course we'll take more!).

Visit at least two of the following cities for fun: Las Vegas, Hawaii, New York or Chicago.

Volunteer our time at least 4 different times to a cause, person, or group that needs it.

Get our passports.

Bring credit score up at least 50+ points.

Time a 1-mile run by end of 2011, and cut that time in half by 2012!

Hike Stone Mountain!

...whatever weight we lose doing the last two will suffice for our weight goals. No more lose-50-pounds-by-end-of-the-year type of resolutions.

This list will surely grow, but we're trying to challenge ourselves while balancing the reality of our daily lives. Please don't take offense if you're not on the list. This is outside of any normal activities or already scheduled events.

We are motivated and look forward to crossing these things off our list. We'll keep you updated. WISH US LUCK and MUCH LUCK TO ALL YOU GOING FOR IT!

Okay, NOW I'm scared.

2011-11-08T20:02:00.000-08:00

Within the past 2 months, I've lost 2 cousins, a friend, and a beloved rapper. All were in their early 30's with the exception of one in their early 40's. Just like that. Tragically young and without warning. All health related, and most ending in a heart attack.

If I wasn't scared before, I am now. See, they were doing everyday things, being everyday people. Then suddenly they had trouble breathing, and then.. they were gone. Just like that. They are sorely missed and watching their families suffer is an eye opener that I needed to WAKE UP!

As a mother, wife, and daughter one my biggest fears is that I won't be here to care for my family. If my family was caught in a tsunami, how far could I run with my kids in hand? How long could I hold them above water? It sickens me to think about it. I have made small changes towards reaching a healthier lifestyle. However, when I look at the goal in mind, they're more like 1 step forward, and 2 steps back.

Quit smoking.. and quit excersizing.

Quit eating out.. eat worse in.

Rid house of harmful chemicals .. feed myself processed foods.

..and the list goes on.

I have a responsibility to my family to do better. It starts with me. IT STARTS WITH ME!

I don't need New Years Day to make resolutions. I need to commit to it now. No excuses. No sabotage. No more suffering.

A happy day..

2011-09-20T06:25:00.000-07:00

Teuila and I, Saaga Family Reunion, Malaekahana Beach Park

Many moons ago, a beautiful little girl was born. She was named Teuila Halialaulani Liula Lolotai. For my parents, she would be their first grandchild. For me, my first niece. How I fell in love with her! She was the fattest and sweetest lil thing! To this day, the best baby! Not a peep! If we weren't staring at her so much, you would almost forget she was in the room. She played quietly and just flashed a smile that melted the strongest!

It's hard for me to believe 12 years have passed since her entrance into the world. Baby fat is all gone, but thank goodness her sweet disposition remained! In the past few years, there have been plenty of changes for her, her family... well heck, the WORLD! Yet, she's handled things pretty head-on and with grace. I know her parents are so proud of her and depend on her more than she knows. She's a leading example for her younger siblings and cousins. I can't express enough how much of a blessing she is. A soldier when you need one!

As she ages, I can't help but to reminisce at my self at her age. We've lived pretty similar lives, except I'm not half as athletic as she is. I will always admire her for that. I know whatever she chooses to do, she's got it! I love you Tete!

9/11 and my thoughts for today

2011-09-11T04:20:00.000-07:00

Like a majority of the U.S., I can recall exactly where I was and what I was doing on the morning of September 11, 2001. Along with the world, I threw myself into every story, every tragic loss, every photo, video, image and news report. No matter how hard I tried to make sense of the whole thing, I was left devastated. I mourned many things that year and since. Even though I was thousands of miles away, I was traumatized still.

In the last years to follow, I refused to watch or read anything 9/11 related. I avoided it all. It was too fresh, too soon. Last month, I happened to watch a romantic film suggested by a friend. It isn't until the very end, I realized the boyfriend was in the Twin Tower, and the date is Sept. 11, 2001. The events that unfold after become obvious and sadly that love story ends. Once again, I was left devastated. Really, I was pissed. I hadn't realized until that moment that we were coming on the 10th anniversary. How can 10 years pass and it still hurt so bad? I took some time afterwards to reflect on how much my life has changed since, and how the outcome could've been worse.

There is a continuing theme that WE WILL NEVER FORGET, and I should hope that no one ever will. Oh how I want to though. Time tends to heal wounds, but this wound is a stubborn one. I know there are no guarantees in this life, but I wish for peace and sanity like I had when I was 23 years old.

Just as I was 10 years ago and like the many who lost their lives that day, I find myself at work. Although I had a choice to stay home today, it only felt right that I be here. I honor them in reflecting back, but more so by always ALWAYS pushing forward. I WILL NEVER FORGET.

GETTING OVER IT!

2011-05-24T15:31:00.000-07:00

I did something last weekend at the beach that I hadn't done in 20 years.

I.WORE.A.BATHING.SUIT!

Oh yes I did!
(with my conscience singing.. "Oh no u didn't!")

I made the decision the day before we left. I don't know what came over me, but I'm tired of wearing shorts and t-shirts that soak up half the ocean. I'm tired of wearing a lavalava that floats upwards when I'm in the water. I'm tired of stepping out of the water and my clothes sticking to me as if their life depended on it.

Yes, I realize my weight and my appearance.

It's nothing new.

I hate to admit it, but I was one of those people who snickered at others under my breath "Oh no she didn't wear that to the beach?"

Shame on me. No, really. Shame on me.

I am truly sorry for that negativity and send this apology out into the universe. I chalk it up to insecurity and immaturity. It's been a long time since I've done or even thought that. I am on the other side now and you know how karma does? I absolutely admire the many women, who don't give it a second thought and put the darn thing on! Why do I always second guess myself? I didn't love my body then and used it against others. It would've been more "acceptable" for me to wear a bathing suit back then. But I gotta give it up to my body. It's been through some things and is still here with me figuring it all out.

So why not wear one right? I thought it would be courteous to ask my husband if it was alright with him. Again, shame on me. I should know my husband doesn't care about something so silly as me in a bathing suit. For crying out loud, he's seen me naked! Instead of putting words in his mouth, I put my self-images and thoughts on him thinking he'd doubt the idea like I did. Should have known better.With him by my side, we went shopping for the darn thing together. I went with his choice which was a basic two-piece tank-top and skirt bottom (think skorts). The coverage was something I could live with and the price was a nice $30! I gotta shout out the Avenue for thinking of us plus-sizers!

I know beauty starts from within. I know I have a daughter who will mirror my thoughts through her self-image. It would kill me to hear her doubt her potential due to her lack of confidence.

I'm working on me. I'm getting over it!

Our surprisingly great getaway!

2011-05-23T17:02:00.000-07:00

View from the Boardwalk.. Panama City Beach!

The truth is, when it comes to beaches, I come from the best of the best. Seriously, thousands flock to Hawaii every day to bask in our sun and splash in our beaches. So, when I ask Georgia locals which beach to hit up along the East Coast, their hesitancy is of no surprise. There really is no comparison.

BUT.. if it's a must that we visit a beach, then go with Panama City Beach in the state of Florida. Some said Destin, FL (which is only a few miles further West from PCB). Of those that did visit those two, they all agreed the water was clear and the beaches were clean. If we avoid the Spring Break crowd, we'd be in for a treat.

We scored on a last-minute hotel rate and off we went. From where we live, it's about a four hour drive. We have kids, so for us it was five hours and 15 minutes. After 3 nights and 4 days, our entire family agrees - TOTALLY WORTH IT!

We didn't want to agree really. I think we all had a guilty conscience for enjoying it so much. We were so bummed the week before for missing our brothers graduation from UH (proud of u uce!). Hearing everyone hanging out and enjoying one anothers company (and seeing all the lovely pics on FB).. it does things to you. It plays with your head and you suddenly remember how far you really are.

The ocean has always been my comfort. Always. I crave the smells and sounds of it. It is where my Papa was buried. It is where my ohana gather and share and laugh and love. It is how I know I am home.

It's been two long years away from my ocean. I stepped into the water again this weekend and sat in silence most of the time. I watched my son immerse himself in the water as I did and smile. I couldn't pull my husband out, and my brother begged for one more day. This was my daughters first experience, and she embraced the new surroundings. I was at peace. We were at peace. Thank you Panama City Beach! We will definitely return!

Tunoa and Daddy splashing around

Making trouble between her Daddy and Uncle..

Our first view of the white sands of Panama City Beach..

Kind lady showing Tunoa the fish they just caught.

Watching the schools of fish in the water.

Tunoa building a wall before the sun sets. See the boardwalk ahead?

Last day of school in Panama City.. beach starting to fill up!

Midpoint on boardwalk.

The coolest kids EVER! (Can't believe those shades made it back.. and in ONE PIECE!)

Hello, Spring!

2011-04-14T14:04:00.000-07:00

Cherry blossom tree below my office

There was a time in my life (let's make it ages ago), when the Winter season RULED my calendar. Within a month, brother + brother + Mom + myself + Aunty + Uncle + cousin + cousin ALL celebrated birthdays. Then somewhere between all of that, there was the Christmas and New Year holiday. It was a fun time. Make it a chaotic/broke time.. but a fun one nevertheless.

Enter Spring. In the past few years, I have come to embrace the liveliness of this season. It has been just as refreshing as the changes in my life. In my Buddhist practice, there is a popular lesson in our studies titled "Winter always turns to Spring." In short, the lesson equates Winter to an obstacle, and Spring to victory.

One Spring four years ago, our son joined our family. We named him King Tunoa. The first half of his name was in honor of the late Rev. Martin LutherKing, Jr. and for all the power and strength one associates with the word King.

Tunoa means unconditional in the Samoan language and is often associated with the word Alofa - meaning Love. I pray his life will be an honorable one and that he will remember his name and our purpose for naming him as such.

We passed on a party this year and opted for a family night out at Chuck E Cheese. For $50, we got two large pizzas, 4 soft drinks (free refills), and 120 tokens. Those 120 tokens lasted us 3 hours!

Tunoa and Mr. Chuck E Cheese

A few days later, my husband and I celebrated our 2nd wedding anniversary. We sort of snicker at this date, because in our eyes, we were "man and wife" the day we met. Thanksgiving. Eight years ago. It really happened that fast for us.

All I can say to those still searching for love…. sometimes, YOU. JUST. KNOW.

Happy Anny Babe..

I LOVE SPRING!

Anthony David "4Evermore" feat. Algebra & Phonte

2011-04-07T18:51:00.000-07:00

If at first you don't succeed...

2011-02-10T09:56:00.000-08:00

Photo by: Inventerspot.com

I've joined Weight Watchers again (at work. the company pays for 1/2!!).

My first attempt at the plan was unsuccesful. Not because of the plan. Nope, that was all me. At the time, it was going into the holidays, and I made up every excuse as to why I shouldn't skimp out on the goodies that come with it. So, total loss = 1 POUND. FEW OUNCES. I didn't even continue with the meetings after that.

So, here I am. Faced with another opportunity to better my health and life condition. I'm taking it! I weigh in every Wednesday at the center. First weigh in, lost .2 ounces. Afterwards, we were presented with a quote from our leader -

"If you kinda do the program, it kinda works. If you really do the program, it really works!"

That simple statement stuck with me the rest of the week. Second weigh in was yesterday. Results = loss of 4.8 pounds!! That brings my grand total to 5 pounds. I was so excited I almost cried right there at the center.

I've made up my mind to attempt this the same way I did in quitting smoking. Slowly. I'm giving myself 2 years to lose some major weight. I will be 35 when this goal is over with. If considerable weight isn't lost after considerable effort, then I will give weight-loss surgery a considerable go. I'm surrounded by family and friends who have done some type of weight-loss surgery and I am so proud of their success. People often mistake the surgery as the "easy" way out. I know that to be untrue. NO succesful weight loss journey is ever easy. It's physical. It's mental. It's stressful.. and it can be downright heartbreaking!

I am faced with a 200 pound beast on my body. It is mine and I've accepted it's presence. But, it's time for her to go. I'm going to get rid of her 5 POUNDS AT A TIME. If I look any further, or set myself up for more...I'll give up. So, 5 pounds is my goal. Whether it takes 1 week, 2 weeks, a month or more. 5 pounds will be gone and will not return.

I've joined a local gym and try to go at least 3 times a week. Slowly, remember? I love walking and hiking and am trying to condition myself by May. By then it should be warm enough for me to hike Stone Mountain.

In September/October, the hubby and I plan to celebrate our weight loss with a Carribean cruise. He's lost alot of weight just by working out. So proud of him. Must, must, must rewards ourselves!

To all of you, who never give up, no matter what.... let's get it!

El DeBarge - Lay With You ft. Faith Evans

2011-02-01T16:45:00.000-08:00

I am in love with this cut. It makes me wanna groove with my hubby. Makes me feel that new-love feeling I had when I first saw him. Ah! I love it when a song can do that. Put me there. Make me feel it. Make me groove to it. Make me forget where I am.

It would take a collabo w/El Debarge and Faith Evans to have me doing all that. These two have been popping up recently on the air waves. Can we say FINALLY? Could good music be making a comeback? I keep my fingers crossed. I still believe this decade will be reminiscent of the 90's, when music was still... music.

When I'm in another feel-good session (all drug/alcohol free.. I promise :), I'll share the goods with ya!

Happy New Year!

2011-01-21T21:34:00.000-08:00

Our computer has returned to it's rightful place after receiving a new hard drive and a cleaning. More like a scrubbing. It's been heavily used by all since it's return, and I am just now finding time to enjoy it. I realize it's been a month since my last post, but I'm learning to sit back and enjoy the moment(s), and etch them into my memory. Plus, there was no way in hell I was going to text an entire blog on my phone. I should be snapping pics and writing more. Instead of putting myself into a guilty mindset about things I missed, I'm going to seize the moment and enjoy it.

As of Dec 23rd, these moments have been built around my parents visit. Does that not explain it all? They are on their way to Virginia for a year, where my Dad picked up a contract. For the first time in 15 years, we will be living on the same coast. It's only for a year now, so I've taken a break from the routine and am spending as much time as possible with them. One year together seems like a million when you consider the long distant relationship we've shared for over a decade. My children are enjoying the spoiling their Nana and Papa are providing, and are learning that these particular adults also have a right of authority in their daily lives. That took some adjusting for my 3-year old, but has been WONDERFUL for my husband and I.

I took a couple of weeks off for the hell of it since I had enough vacation time. For once, there were no reunions, graduations, weddings, or trips home planned. Just 12 days trying to answer the same question - What are we gonna do today?

We've managed to do some cool things, some very routine-day-off type of things, and some well deserved "no-things". I'll upload some pics and post more once my Mom is in Virginia. Dad has already been gone a week and I don't think he can do without her much longer. Can't say I blame the guy, she's a talented spoiler. Please believe we're not looking forward to her departure. Must all good things really come to an end? She and I will be driving from my place to hers in about a week. Hopefully I can snap some cool shots from the road and share them with y'all. If not, you'll know I was soaking in her presence and appreciating our time shared.

There it is. My 2011 resolution - be in the moment.

[Day 16] Your first kiss

2010-11-19T07:47:00.000-08:00

Don't we get a free pass in this challenge somewhere?

My first kiss was so weird. Seriously. I was in the 6th grade and we just moved back to Am. Samoa. I was the new girl at Pava'ia'i Elementary School. Puberty had merged itself into my life at a strikingly fast pace. When living in the mainland, I felt gargantuan next to my schoolmates. When we moved to Samoa, I found myself pleasantly fitting in with everyone. Where size was concerned, I was amongst other little women. We looked like teenagers! The boys of my island looked like young men!! Our bodies definitely deceived our maturity back then.

Being the newbie in town, news sure did spread fast. So did rumors. Rumors of HIM having a crush on me. Rumors of me liking HIM back (not true!). Eventually, it was said that me and HIM were now a couple. HIM and I barely said boo to each other. I was confused at that age. My new friends believed I had some power over them now. I was a "girlfriend" and had all the answers, and somehow, by them befriending me... they too would hold said power. Always being the new kid in class, I couldn't disappoint.

One day during lunch, my friends and I wandered around the campus and ended up behind one of the fale's. It just so happened, HIM and his friends were wandering in the same direction from the opposite end. The minute we made eye contact, it was like the Red Sea parted. Soon after, a massive crowd (it was probably only 10 people.. but I swear the entire school body was there) formed around us. I felt awkward, and he just froze in the middle of the circle. Slowly, the crowd seemingly pushed us closer together. I vividly remember someone yelling "They're gonna kiss!"

Finally, nowhere to run and hide, we stood face to face. He leaned in, I closed my eyes, and he planted a quick kiss on my lips. Then.........

HE RAN!!

He and his giggly punk friends ran back in the direction they came from. I felt myself pulled back by my cheeky friends who, by then, were giggling and getting hysterical. The rest of the day went by without incident and I walked home as usual. We were boyfriend/girlfriend for about two weeks. We never spoke a word to each other the entire time. One time, on the walk home from school we stole another quick kiss on the back road to Ili'ili. That was it. Another quick peck and the fool ran again.

Seriously, had I known I was going to laugh this much now, I wouldn't have given myself such grief back then. All I can think of now is how young and cheeky that age was. How that experience was so typical of many I know back home.

Puberty. SO GLAD THAT'S OVER WITH!!

[Day 15] Your Dreams

2010-11-18T10:17:00.000-08:00

Big daydreamer. That's me. I catch myself in Neverland often, especially at work. It's a wonder I even get anything done. My dreams have certainly changed over the years thanks to reality and it's keen sense of timing. Nevertheless, I am one to keep hope alive.

My kids have me dreaming of a long, long life. Like 100 years worth. Of grandkids, and great-grands. Of strength and health. Their dreams encourage me to find the courage to overcome myself. They deserve their Mommy, and a long life with them to grow with is a dream come true.

My childhood has me dreaming of fun. Of lands far far away. Of new things, new feelings, new ideas. Travel is my #1 idea of fun. I'm currently dreaming of a cruise. When I retire I want to take one around the World. To see all these countries. To feel their authenticity through their people and culture. I dream of Belgium, Ireland, China, and Trinidad & Tobago.

My hubby has me dreaming of our future. Of a house. Of hard work finally turning to play. Of being in his arms and dancing it out. Of a simple life filled with great people and better times. Of one day returning home and living out our days in the motherland. Of forever..

[Day 14] What you wore today

2010-11-06T16:18:00.000-07:00

Today I wore a sweatshirt cause it was below freezing
and slippers so I wouldn't get too hot.
Somehow the two balanced out my temperature.
A new shade of mauve on my toes.
And bangs. Haven't had them since childhood.
It doesn't hurt to try something new.

And after yesterdays devastating ruling,
my heart wore my Red Raider badge!
Kahuku High baby!
Who said school spirit ended at high school?

[Day 13] This week

2010-10-31T17:58:00.000-07:00

This has been a week full of tricks and very little treats. I'm trying to look at the glass half full though.

Last week Friday I had to rush to Urgent Care (cause I'll be damned if I'm gonna pay and emergency room bill). I wasn't feeling good a couple of days earlier, and by the time I got to the counter I had already vomited violently at home. I'll spare you those gross details, but it definitely wasn't pretty. Doc told me there was a very nasty stomach virus going around. Gave me a shot in my bootie, wrote out a prescription and called it a day. I missed two days of work. That little sucker virus was rough! Kicked my a** and put me out! So much so that my kids started to miss me.

I was barely recovering when my daughter showed the same symptoms. My son did the same two days later. Finally, brother and hubby joined the rest of us. We were one sickly home. Missed another two days away from work trying to nurse everyone back to a healthier body. It got stressful as my hubby and I started to debate who would have to stay home with the kids. None of us can afford to miss work, but when it comes to our babies, we definitely do what we need to.

I was a sanitizing freak during the whole ordeal. We've all pretty much recovered, however my daughter will be seeing her pediatrician tomorrow to make sure she's okay. Better safe than sorry!

When I finally returned to work, our schedule bid posted for 2011. As most airlines go, you bid according to seniority. I've moved up considerably since my date of hire. Our department bids our rotation AND vacation for an entire year. So, by October we better know what we're doing for the next year. Yesterday they posted the final bid and I couldn't believe it! I will have the holidays off next year!! I really wanted to scream at the top of my lungs when I saw that, but I've learned not to count my money before it's in my hands. I've work every single major holiday this year. Did the same the year before. In other words, my time has come!

The highlight of my week was Halloween. Trick-or-treating out here doesn't come close to the way it's done back home. We are better informed of our community this year and I was pleasantly surprised at the amount of Fall festivals in the area. Almost every single church had a festival or trunk-or-treat event. We decided to take the kids to the Senior home a couple of miles away. I remembered seeing it last year because the traffic into that complex was ridiculous. We were very prepared for the day and got there in time.

The elderly have always held a special place in my heart. Probably because I have wonderful, wonderful grandparents. They set it up so all the seniors were lined up against the walls of their lounge area, cafeteria, and social hall. We all followed the line as it went. They smiled and asked the kids what they were. My son was a ninja so they all asked him to show his moves. Oh how he soaked it all in. They clapped and cheered as he performed. A couple of them let us in their rooms and passed candy from their bed. A few couples sat on their balconies and waved at all the kids. Even in their frail conditions, their spirits couldn't be reckoned with. I don't know who had more fun, the seniors or the kids? Let me tell you, they really warmed my heart. Who would've thought a Halloween could be this special?

Finally, today I stood in line as a proud citizen of this country and cast my vote at the polls. Even though I'm not the most political as some I know (and who really annoy me with it), I believe in doing my civic duty. As predicted, my candidates probably won't win in this election, but my voice was heard. As a woman and a minority, it bothers me that so many like me.. miss out on this opportunity. Stand for something, or fall for anything!

[Day 12] What's in your bag?

2010-10-30T18:01:00.000-07:00

Like many women, I have several bags. I hate to admit that I have more than necessary. Even though there are several I can use, I tend to grab the one bigger than life itself. Those reusable grocery bags that are popping up in every store? Uh huh. That's the bag of choice lately. It's just too easy to throw everything in there. I do mean - E V E R Y T H I N G ! !

Unfortunately, that was the bag of choice today.. and I shamefully list it's contents here. In no particular order I pulled out:

1 banana
2 bags of instant oatmeal
Full water bottle
1 ceramic coffee cup
Half-empty bottle of ginger ale
Black pen
Blue pen
Unsharpened pencil
Purple pen
Composition notebook
Mini notebook
Cuter mini-mini notebook
Phone
Phone charger
Headphones
Nasal spray
Box of Immodium (don't ask)
Today's mail
Yesterdays mail
2 magazines
1 study guide
1 Hot Wheel car
(green station wagon if you really must know)
1 straw
3 napkins
1 plastic fork
Mini Butterfinger
2 rubberbands
2 hair clips belonging to Nyla Rose
2011 calendar
2011 shift bid
Travel size tube of lotion
Travel size hand sanitizer
Wallet
5 receipts
Lip balm
Mirror
Tweezers

and last but not least .....

1 can of sardines!

Did someone say Intervention?

[Day 11] Your Siblings

2010-10-29T16:35:00.000-07:00

Private.

The one word I can best use to describe them. Meaning, a public blog is something they probably wouldn't appreciate from me. I don't know, they might surprise me with their feelings on that, but nevertheless, I choose not to rock the boat right now. I will share the few digital pics I have of them. (Pray for my scanner when I get one. It is so gonna get sasa'd!)

In birth order: Lawana'au (resting in love), ME, Tiloi, Mana, and Tevana. A special shout out for our older brother Lawana'au. He was my parents first born, and sadly left them a day after his birth, which happens to be my Dads birthday. Buried at Laie cemetary, he is still visited, loved, spoken to and definitely missed. Although we have not met him, we honor his brief presence in this world, as his departure has surely left a lasting impact on my parents.

Currently, the two brothers in the middle are living it up in Hawaii. Tevana and I are residing in Georgia. Wish it was different. You never expect your lives, together under one roof, to fly by the way it has. You sort of assume you'll be around each other forever. If there is anything I regret, it's that I didn't soak up all the time I had with them while we grew up. I would've hung around the house more. Been a little more patient. Greeted them with more smiles.

I think they survived though.

Recently, the topic of siblings has truly touched my heart. I was able to spend a few days in Texas. My Aunt (Dads sister), Grandma and I drove 10 hours across Texas so they could spend some time with my Dad and Uncle. Three of the 7 siblings. It was for a short 2 days, but what a sacrifice for such little time.

Not too long after that, my Moms youngest sister was in Anaheim for a seminar. My Mom lives in Los Angeles so of course they hooked up. Just the fact that they were together prompted their baby brother to hop on a plane from Colorado and visit for the weekend.

All of them now in their 50's (give or take :), there is no telling when any of these two groups will see each other again. Their gatherings brought about the realization of the physical distance between my brothers and I. How we weren't any different than my Uncles and Aunties. I have to admit it was the first time it hit me. How a bond can never be broken by miles, and how a day together is truly worth ... a lifetime!

Love u guys!

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[Day 10] What I wore today

2010-09-25T15:14:00.001-07:00

I woke up with my favorite dark blue and black lavalava and black tank top. My pajamas are typically lavalavas and t-shirts. Changed into a pink top and black shorts and stayed that way the rest of the day. Before bed, I'll be back in the same pajamas I woke up in.

I have to say, the pink top gave me a little boost of confidence. I'm really picky about clothes. For instance, the tank top I wore to sleep is something I only wear in the house. I usually don't wear tank tops in public. Actually, it's been years since I've done that. I'd have to shave my underarms (yes, T.M.I.), and that's just asking too much from me. Also, I don't like my arms enough to wear one with confidence. I don't mind my arms when their hanging at my side, but I move around a lot and lift and raise them. You know that second arm that flaps when I'm waving or whatever? Not something I enjoy sharing. It's still there with a regular t-shirt, but at least you don't see it.

Back to the pink top. It's an old v-neck t-shirt in a nice deep fuchsia and it compliments me well. I wore it with jeans, but as I gained weight, I found the top getting shorter and tighter. Eventually it went from a hanger to a drawer with the other tighties. Today, after exersizing for a couple of weeks, I decided to try the top again. Hooray for that elliptical machine!
The top is hanging better and I'm feeling better! I'm not a fan of weight scales so I use my clothes to help me figure where I'm at. Almost always, I lose inches instead of pounds.

So on the outside, I wasn't wearing much. On the inside, a HUGE smile, which goes with just about anything! Back to the gym tomorrow!

[Day 9] Your Beliefs

2010-09-24T19:10:00.000-07:00

This can go in so many directions. There are too many experiences that my beliefs are based upon. What I know for sure, for sure, without a doubt in my mind and heart? The law of cause and effect.

Translation: What goes around, comes back around.

Multiplied in most cases.

Good and bad.

Nothing and no one is immune to this. I don't need to test it to know it's true. It doesn't matter if you're Buddhist, Christian, Muslim, Jewish, Atheist, Animal, Mammal... whatever! The law is universal, and I feel the most powerful.

Seriously, it blows my mind! I am still paying my debts to this law, and try to shout out "THANK YOU" when something bad happens. It's karma kicking my butt and I can either accept it now or pay more later. It's not gonna leave me until I do.

I believe this wholeheartedly and try to live my life accordingly. For the betterment of myself, my kids, my family, and my community.

[Day 8] A moment

2010-09-21T06:50:00.000-07:00

How about the moment I realized today is the 23rd, and I'm only on day 8 of the challenge? What a pitiful moment there.. geez!

It only makes sense that the last blog was regarding best friends. Today happens to be one of their birthdays. My sista-from-anotha-mista, Ms. Kalei Hanchett! How blessed I am to have her in my life. I can't even begin to explain all the moments we've had. I guess cause it's her birthday, this one in particular comes to mind....

Here's something a lot of people don't know. When I left Hawaii to embark on my new independence, I was not alone. Nope. Ms. Kalei was sitting right next to me on the plane. We decided to move to California together to be with our other sista already living there. We left with 2 suitcases, big hopes/dreams, not much savings, a lot of anxiety, and ready for something new.

I said goodbye to my family at home because I didn't want a dramatic airport scene. I wanted to avoid all the sadness and looks that would make me regret my decision. Kalei and her Mom picked me up and we headed to the airport. When we got there, the rest of our gang was there with us and accompanied us to the gate (I miss the pre-9/11 days when we could all hang at the gate). Not much was said. You could feel the anxiety in the air. Finally, announcements to board began, and so did our farewells.

I will never forget the way we all hugged each other and cried ... and cried ... and cried our eyes out. One by one, Kalei and I said our goodbyes to our other 3, each one making it harder to stop the flow of emotion. We were so young, but when I think back at how very close we were, I'm overwhelmed again.

To my surprise, when I looked out the window, I could see my family getting off the shuttle and running to the gate. So much for avoiding dramatic scenes! I sobbed my way through that farewell. No words are necessary when tears can speak volumes. I couldn't believe my family drove from Kahuku to say goodbye again.

Finally, we were forced to board the plane. I don't know if Kalei had the same feelings I had when our backs were finally turned and we stepped onto the airplane. I know we sat in silence and shed more tears. We couldn't stop crying. Now that I'm writing this, I can remember the bittersweet feeling of saying goodbye to what you know, and hello to what you don't.

We stuck it out for about 6 months before reality took it's course. Kalei eventually returned to Hawaii (she was definitely the smarter one), and I decided to see where I could plant my feet. Every time I visit home, she is one of the people I have to see. I don't care if it's only for 5 minutes. It's a must.

Although our adventure was short lived, my memories of our time together is forever. We still talk, hang, and laugh whenever possible. No love was ever lost. How I admire Kalei. She is one patient woman to have had me as her roommate. I don't let anybody sleep! I miss her and our late night conversations.

Here's to all our moments, and here's to many more! Hauoli la hanau Kalei!

Kalei is the 2nd from the left. The other 3 are the ones who cried with us at the airport. Tina, Butcha and Bonnie. Missing is Leau (who we moved up with in Cali). With such unique personalities, it's amazing we're this close. An odd bunch we are, but I love 'em to death! Miss u guys!

[Day 7] Your best friend

2010-09-16T16:39:00.001-07:00

When I think of a best friend, it's someone that I can't wait to share good news with. Someone I call when I need to vent. Or cry. Or laugh.

Many come to mind. But there are my constants. One being my Mama. I talk more to that woman than anybody else. In fact, we are thousands of miles apart.. and I speak to her every day. EVERY DAY. It could be for an hour, or five minutes. Somehow, we never run out of things to say.

I have my husband. I wouldn't have married him if I didn't feel he was a type of best friend. He's amazing. I fear he knows me better than I know him. I chalk it up as me being "predictable." He is someone I am excited to hear from and I can't wait to talk to. Obviously, we talk every day. What makes it different? More often that not, we disagree. We tend to have opposing opinions on alot of things. This has opened up our eyes to alot of other things that we wouldn't have been so open to. I appreciate that in my life. As a friend, I love his open mind, his honesty, and his humor (although I try not to lead on that he's that hilarious.. he's quite a character). When we do agree on something, watch out, we're a force to reckon with!

I have my constant gal-pals. We lovingly call each other SISTAS! Cause that is what our relationship has grown to over the years. They are without fail there when I need them. I wish we all lived closer together. You'd think we did they way we go on and on. Another blessing.. we can not talk for long periods of time, and pick back up like nothing. I believe that takes you from a friend... to family. So SISTERS they are!

My last bestie.. is something I turn to quite often. It's none other than............ C A K E!! Yup, good ole cake. I find peace in it's process. I make one when we celebrate. When I'm bored. When I'm sad and need a pick-me-up. When I'm lonely, I bake one to fill my home with it's scent. It's homey, and I love it, and never EVER failed me. Now this cake added a few pounds to my figure, but I can blame all the people mentioned above for my weight gain as well ;)

Anyways, today was just a regular day and Project Runway is coming on. One of the blogs I follow - Bakerella - has amazing cake and dessert ideas. The one about Peach Crunch Cake caught my eye, so I'll be trying that tonight. Recipe is below. My best friend can now be yours...

Peach Crunch Cake

24.5 oz jar of sliced peaches in light syrup
1 package yellow cake mix
1 stick butter (1/2 cup), cut into 16 pieces
1 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup chopped walnuts

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
Layer ingredients in a 13 X 9 dish, in order starting with the peaches.
Bake for about 40 minutes.
Serve warm or cold… with or without ice cream.

Enjoy!

slightly challenged..

2010-09-13T15:38:00.000-07:00

i have fallen and i can't get up!

no, it's not that serious. sick toddler, road trip, and weekend with in-laws.

those are my excuses.

i'll soon come back when we're settled.

been enjoying everyone's posts in the meantime.

[Day 6] Your Day

2010-09-06T20:46:00.001-07:00

Today so happens to be Labor Day. Spent the day at work. My seniority falls right in the middle of everyone. Which still isn't enough to get me many holidays. However, the rotation I bid this year made for the holidays falling on my Friday. Giving me enough time to catch the tail end of any celebrations. Can't complain.

I spent my 12 hour shift not doing much. Once in a blue moon, we manage to catch up and the day is pleasant. The only thing about that is time seems to drag. It was a beautiful 80° outside. Low humidity and a gentle breeze. For lunch I moved my car to a shady area, rolled all the windows down, reclined the seat and knocked out! Power napping bliss!

Said an exaggerated. farewell to my colleagues when 5 pm hit. It was my Friday before vacation. 13 Days! Looking forward to some R&R.

Came home to a clean house, kids napping, and my hubby starting dinner. He's become more domesticated over the years. Its been great seeing the transition.

After dinner, took Tevana(baby brother is back out here) to Wal Mart to pick up a phone charger. Returned home to a fuming husband. What is wrong now? Oh that's right. Football season is here again. Boise State won. I could tell by the outbursts(mild expletives) coming from the back.

I just noticed my feet are swollen. Too much salt perhaps? I kept the kids up way past their 830 pm bedtime. I would like to sleep in a little tomorrow. Better go get started.

Hope your day was fun and family filled!

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[Day 5] Your Definition of Love

2010-09-05T15:06:00.000-07:00

Love is the last thing I want to talk about now. Bad timing. It's just that, an hour ago I heard some disturbing news about someone. Someone I love. In my eyes, someone must've lost all the love they once had for another. Or they wouldn't be doing the things they are doing. Saying the things they're saying.

So, right at this very moment, love really..really hurts.

I'm totally reacting in a way I'm not comfortable with. The "me" I'm accustomed to is usually filled with forgiveness. Cause if you really love someone, you sacrifice your pride and forgive. Right? I really try to think the best of someone. In fact, people tend to get mad at me for being the "nice one" so quick to let things go. Not right now. The lack of love has me wanting to use every cuss word known to man. But I can't figure out how to do that without stooping to their level.

So, right at this very moment, love really.. really SUCKS!

There is no definition to the word that will satisfy me right now. It's too profound an emotion, too intricate to describe. It crosses a fine line with hate. Delicate it is.

On the upside of it all, it's unconditional. Downside, it's often abused.

I'm stumped.

So, right at this very moment, I'm going to spend time with my loves. Really.

[Day 4] What did you eat today?

2010-09-04T15:16:00.000-07:00

I knew this was coming, and how I wanted to say I ate something fancy and foreign and out of my budget. Or even that I was enjoying the sun and sitting by our pool enjoying the passing smells of barbeque grills and sampling from such delights.

Uh. Not the case at all. Not even close! What did I eat today?

Junk. Junk. Junk. An apple.... and more junk. SHAME!

Due to my intense blogging the night before, I woke up late. Really late. The unofficial rule at work is if you're running that late, then you might as well stop somewhere and get breakfast for everyone. On my way I called in for the orders. McDonald's was the only thing open at 5am. So for breakfast I had an Egg Mcmuffin, a Breakfast Burrito (the $1 size), and a large coffee.

Again, my late start got the best of me because I did not prepare lunch. I went to a Tex-Mex place down the street with the best intentions of ordering a salad. You know, to make up for this mornings meal. Their counter is open for you to view the assembly line making of burritos and tacos and who really orders salads at a Mexican restaurant anyways? So I ordered a steak burrito with rice, black beans, cheese, pico de gallo, extra cilantro and onions. No sour cream or guacamole to make up for the salad that I wasn't eating. I mean I had to suffer somewhere. The burritos come with a small side of chips and a salsa bar to dig into.

On the way home, I snacked on the 1 apple I managed to grab on the way out the door this morning. I thought that would be it for the night since I felt so guilty about eating out TWICE today. If I really got hungry, I could throw some popcorn in the microwave later.

I came home to an empty house since hubby pulled an extra shift. He must have been running late today too, because he walked in with a big white paper bag. You know, the ones with the translucent grease stains on the bottom? The drive-thru type? Uh-huh. Yup, and lucky for me, I have a selfless husband who always makes sure I'm fed. Who knows how much I love a fish sandwich. The one with tartar sauce and lettuce and tomatoes. I couldn't say no because then he would be forced to eat it. You know fish sandwiches aren't the same the next day! I sucked up my guilt and ate it. With about 7 fries (honestly), and shared a few sips of Sweet Tea with my son. Not the iced tea you find chilled in a can. It's the Southern-sweet-and-smooth-like-syrup-put-you-in-a-diabetic-coma Sweet Tea. Only found here in the South. Take a few sips and the southern belle will come outta ya!

Yeah, today definitely wasn't my best day. The only good thing about it was there was no clean-up. Oh, and I learned a lesson..

Don't be late!!

[Day 3] My Parents

2010-09-03T16:57:00.000-07:00

Okay... and with this topic I am feeling the "challenge" part of this 30-day event. I don't know where to start and I'm trying to summarize my parents + their life + their relationship + their relationship with me + the lack of pics I thought I had online. It's waaaay past my bedtime, but I am determined to post something. Which at this point, is better than nothing. I just feel they deserve something grand and PERFECT. Which is odd, because the one thing I love about them most... is that they are not.

At the age of 13, my parents met and have been together since. That's 38 years. Married for 33. If you're doing the math, you figured that they were very young when that happened. They were parents immediately after. With statistics being what they are today, you can imagine the amount of troubles they faced as a young couple. If you look at the distance they've come together, heartache continually turned into triumph. Witnessing it all, they gave me a very realistic portrayal of all the obstacles that come with commitment.

My Mom is wearing all white. She is a sophomore in this picture. Her sister to the left and cousins on both ends.

They met in Am. Samoa. My great-grandparents owned and ran a very successful ice cream shop back in the early 70's. My Mom, her siblings and many cousins all took turns working there after school. As fate would have it, my Dad and family just moved into town from Hawaii. As the youngest of 6 boys, my Dad was sent across the street to the market to buy an ice cream cone. My Mom is the one who took that order. She tells of how my Dad was very polite. They laugh now because moments after my Dad returned home with his cone, my grandma sent him back to the shop with a huge green plastic bowl (do you remember the Tupperware one everyone had?). My Dad put his head down and asked how much it would cost to fill the entire bowl. My Mom and her cousins giggled at the request, but mainly because my Dad was so embarrassed asking.

It seems they were the only two "palagi-style" families from Hawaii that lived there. The two families quickly became friends and learned to live life in Samoa together. It came as no surprise to everyone that my parents were dating. A couple of years later, my Mom (oldest of 5) was off to Kamehameha High School where she boarded until she graduated. Following her, was my Dad, who was sent to Mid Pac where he boarded. Mom lived on the top of that hill with her dorm room being the highest one up there. My Dad would walk all the way from the bottom of Kalihi to her dorm to visit. If any of you have been to the Kamehameha campus, you understand how much that meant to my Mom. That hill is no joke!

My Mom in high school. I believe her Senior Year at Kamehameha. Beautiful isn't she?

I feel as if I could go on about their love for each other, but the truth is.. I can't speak for them. They have been through the highs/lows...hell and back and are still standing. To me, that speaks volumes. I'm thankful for that example. I learned so much on the dynamics of marriage through them. I'm talking the good, the bad, and the ugly! I said they weren't perfect, but what I love most about that is they don't expect me to be. They embrace every bit of me and push me to challenge myself to do more.My Dad holding me. Next to him is Aunty Ailua and cousin Taimane.

My Dad and I rarely have long conversations. Ever. Yet, he always says the right thing at the right time.He would always tell me if I wanted to fly... I could fly. If you don't believe in yourself, then why should I. I never forgot that. When I decided to leave the nest at the age of 18, my Dad was the ONLY one who supported that decision. He was the only one who said "Babe, get out there and see that world and don't come back until you conquer it!" He didn't even flinch when I sprung this on them. When I was out conquering the world and ended up in jail repeatedly he was my first phone call. Not a single lecture. Just a boost of confidence to get me through it (and yes.. I'll blog about this later).

Years later, I was hesitant about taking a promotion which meant moving to Atlanta. I just thought it was too far from home. His kind advice that day "Babe, no matter where you go in this world, you'll be far. Far is far. So go and get'um!" I love my Dad. Man of few words, but wise beyond his years.

My Mom is the total opposite. We talk everyday. All day. And everything she touches seems to turn gold. "Never walk into a room and let anyone make you believe you don't deserve to hold your head up!" she would say. I aspire to be her. Enough said.

I wish I had the time and energy to go on. I am now determined to share more about them. They are the most unique people I know. I'm blessed to be their daughter. I pray they live to see me as a grandmother. I am now determined to write more about them (and scan more pics of them too!).

Love you two!

My parents a couple of years ago at Keiki Hula Competition. My nephew Tiloi in the middle.
**My Mom is going to kill me because she has lost about 80 pounds since this pic. She looks great!

[Day 2] My first love

2010-09-01T18:11:00.000-07:00

I'm so glad to have this opportunity to write about him. He has often brought a smile to my face because he was such a sweetheart. I never got to thank him for that experience.

There was a time in my life when I lived between both sets of grandparents. One set lived in the countryside, and the other in town. During weekends, holidays and summers I stayed in town. Now as a country girl, town boys can leave quite an impression on you with their fast ways, confident walk, and bad-boy appeal. I lived in a village where you needed to cross a small bridge to get from your home to the "commercial" area of the village. Now, the bridge was where it was at! The local boys would hang out, smoke their cigarettes and holler at the girls that passed by, bump their music loud and show their new moves (it was, after all.. the late 80's). That bridge was there from the time my mama was a teenager and still exists today. My grandmother warned me to stay away from the boys on the bridge. I did. They would ask me for quarters and whistle and try to talk... but I stayed focused on getting across that bridge.

Until, that is, my first love started sitting there.

He never harassed me. Never spoke to me. Never paid me any attention. I was thankful for that. He gave me enough time to look up and peep him out. He was a tall, baby faced teenager with a little slouch and a drop of roughness to him. He would only nod upwards when we made eye contact. I would nod right back at him and keep moving. This continued for weeks. One day, his nod turned into a smile. I couldn't believe it. My heart raced when I saw how very handsome he was. I didn't know how to handle it and just shut down. Yup, ignored him for the rest of the summer, and life went on.

On one of my weekend visits to town, I was dropped off at the bottom of the hill one evening and told to go straight up the hill (we had to hike about 750 feet to the house). On my way up there I ran into my cousin and her boyfriend (another bridge boy). Along side of them was my first love. He tried his best to make conversation with me, but I was so nervous. Of course, my cousin and her boyfriend wanted to be alone (and she was soooo not supposed to be with him at that hour). So she asked my boy if he could walk me home since it was so late. I protested because I knew my grandparents would kill me. He insisted because of the late hour and promised to dig out just before we were in viewing distance.

We slowly walked home and he asked me all these questions. My nervousness took over and I found myself just listening to all he had to say. He was pretty neutral and I thought that was cool... cause he was sooo cool! We reached the final steps and said goodbye.

The next evening my dear cousin comes pounding on my door and asks me to walk with her to the store (I figured it was another excuse to see her boyfriend). We get to the bottom of the steps when she frantically explains to me all that my first love had to say about me. I was in shock. He liked me? OMG... he LIKES ME? YES! We both freak out screaming and giggling. Next thing I know, the bridge is in our view and there he is. Staring and smiling. Now I'm smiling.

It all moved so fast from there. I still wasn't allowed to officially date anyone. So, our relationship was a secret. Although I'm sure my family, if not the whole village, knew something was going on. I lost my appetite. Started dressing cuter, and took on a sudden interest in running all the errands. He would call me on the phone and we wouldn't talk long, cause it was a Samoan home with barely-there walls and absolutely no privacy! When school was out for the summer he would visit while everyone went to work. We would hang out under the house and talk, and laugh, and make out. He was always a gentleman though. Never crossed any lines I wasn't willing to cross. I looked forward to our days and hanging out with him. More often than not he would hang out with me at the laundromat, running errands, and walk me home. He helped carry groceries up the hill. My cousin and I became each others excuses and our stories always got mixed up. They were older than me and had more freedoms. I just took what I could get. So did he.

Then, the summer ended and back to the country it was for me. I don't know what happened. You would think on a small island it would be so easy to hang out. In fact, it was far from it. I was deep in Leone and that is pretty country when you're in town. He had his own school activities and I had school and responsibilities at home. Days turned into months and not a word. I didn't even see him during some of my weekend visits to town. At such a young age, I didn't know what to expect or how to properly handle it. I remember feeling sad, but eventually moved on and focused on other things.

One day in school, another cousin of mine pulled me to the side and showed me a picture. It was him! He still had that babyface! He was now a Junior and me a freshman. She encouraged me to call, but once again, my shyness took over. So instead, she gave him my number. Did he call me?

Yes. For a whole entire year we talked every night on the phone. Every night, long conversations and laughter and jokes and no one ever brought up being together again. I was too afraid to ask and my pride wouldn't let me. He treated me as a friend and I took it as that.

Until he asked me to be his date to the military ball. I knew then, because he was so shy about it, that he still had feelings for me. I was so torn when he asked because I knew there was no way possible my countryside grandparents would let me go. I was not allowed to date. I politely turned him down and things never were the same after that. The phone barely rang and it ate at me because I wanted to go more than anything. He didn't understand why I didn't just go and our joyous conversations turned into bitter ones.

The end of that year I moved to Hawaii. He said a brief but sincere goodbye to me on the phone. I was surprised when his friends showed up at the airport with a message saying how much he really wanted to come but couldn't. In that brief moment, and by the looks on their faces, I felt that he understood why I couldn't do the same for him.

Two years later I visited home to work at my grandparents restaurant for the summer. He came by to visit when he heard I was in town. He was a college-boy now and was a different person to me. Now he was a man (still baby faced). We had lunch and small conversation. No rekindling of any kind for I had found myself another summer love (definitely not as intense as this one). That was the last time I ever saw him.

Years later, a colleague and I were discussing old romances and I began to tell our story. In the middle of it, she stood up and screamed out "NO WAY! YOU'RE THE TIA!" I didn't understand what she meant by that. Then she went into detail about her good friend who worked at the college library. A group of them would hang out and they would always mess with this guy because he was so cool but never with anyone special. After awhile, he opened up and began to tell the story about his first love. Same details as the ones I listed above. Her name was Tia.
She said he never got over his first love. How it was so perfect, but the timing was so bad. How he thought of her often, and how he hoped she had the best. How he wanted to be the one to give her that.

Turns out I was that Tia. She called him and he sent his regards and we had a couple of conversations over the phone that year. The timing and distance was an obstacle too big to overcome. I have never forgotten him.. We both moved on, and have our own families now. I know that if we ever run into each other there will no longer be love. There will be respect.

May he live a long and happy life!

[Day 1] Introduce Yourself

2010-08-31T19:25:00.000-07:00

I have to say, Day 1 will probably be the hardest one for me. I'm very shy (I know, it's hard to believe, but it's true). I sometimes go overboard to compensate for my shyness. So I'll try to stick to the basics about me with this introduction (added links for points of interest.. and because I just figured out how to do it recently).

My parents named me Evotia Li'ula Lolotai.

Born on the island of American Samoa.
1 hour and 5 minutes after Christmas.
Zodiac says I'm a Capricorn.
Chinese say I'm a Snake.
Of mixed ethnicity.
(Samoan, Hawaiian, Irish, Chinese, English)
I love that. Says alot about my ancestors.
Oldest of 4.
Only girl.
Buddhist.
Now married.Making me a-
Lolotai-Johnson.
Yes, I had to hyphenate.
Lived in several States.....and 2 islands.
Hawaii is considered my home.
Even though I only lived there for 5 years.
A Peach State resident.
This is my 5th year here.
I attended several schools in Am. Samoa.
Can't fluently speak the language.
But I can dance a mean taualuga.
A proud Red Raider.
A proud Mommy.
[One son]
[One daughter]
Travel coordinator.
Home renter, car owner.
Non-smoker, occasional drinker (more like barely a sipper).
However, that wasn't always the case.
Avid reader, until the end of Breaking Dawn.
I recycle at home, AND at work.
I love tattoos.
Love the color green, but yellow has been calling my name.
I love this outlet.
A rookie to blogging, but I feel so at home.

************************************************************

"Excuse me, but our bill is WHAT?"

2010-08-28T18:07:00.001-07:00

Payday was yesterday. Which usually means I'm online paying bills. So, I'm trying to find account numbers and remember passwords to get into all these accounts. Please take my money now before I wander over to Target and create necessities!

Right when I log into our Georgia Power (electric) account, a huge gray pop-up appears with the words "WARNING! PAST DUE BILL! PLEASE CONTACT OUR OFFICES OR YOUR POWER WILL BE TURNED OFF AND YOU WILL BE FORCED TO PAY RECOVERY FEES AND SUBMIT A DEPOSIT YOU SUCKER!"

Okay, those weren't the exact words, but they might as well have been. I immediately called the office questioning such nonsense when the agent said "Ma'am I am showing the amount of $342.19 due before Sept 3rd or it will be turned off."

"EXCUSE ME, BUT OUR BILL IS WHAT?"

Did she really just say $342..... dollars? Okay, so it is a combination of last month + this months meter reading. However, my bill has never been that high! I was ready to turn on my professional-non-bs-taking-tough voice and ask for a supervisor and argue my way out of this ridiculous bill. I even had a neck roll prepared.

Then I remembered ....

We now have a much bigger place to heat/cool.

Oh, and we usually leave one light on for security reasons.

....and the night light Tunoa refuses to be without.

Oh, and our air conditioning is on all day... even thought it's on AUTO.

......plus the fans in each room (we're hot and sweaty people .. who don't like to be hot and sweaty).

Oh, and speaking of sweaty... the volume of laundry doubles with it being hotter than Samoa out here.

Oh yeah, and now we have a wireless modem giving us wifi.

....which was bought to power the Wii... that streams the Netflix movies... daily.

Oh, and since we got the Wii, we gave up on eating out.

....which is why I use the oven all day/every meal.

Oh, and we upgraded to smartphones last month.

....which need to be charged every 6 hrs they way we use it.

Ugh. I hate my memory.

I still asked for the supervisor (tough girl voice on, neck roll off). I tried to invent an error on their part, but my guilty conscience wouldn't let me(shoulda kept the neck roll). I managed to make a payment arrangement that would split the bill in half and allow me to keep the power going.

So if my pockets have to suffer this month, so will everyone else. Time to get unplugged!

Ready or not.. BLOG CHALLENGE!

2010-08-25T15:03:00.000-07:00

If you suffer from writers block from time to time... maybe it's time to take the challenge! A friend and fellow blogger came up with a wonderful exercise that is sure to have you taking a trip down memory lane.

It's a 30-day challenge. I'm game and can't wait to read everyones entries. Especially since we'll all have the same topic.

I start Sept 1.... see you there! Let's do it!

ME TIME...

2010-08-23T19:36:00.000-07:00

Been awhile since my last entry (and all is good by the way... a little sleep usually does wonders:). Anyways, after 3.5 years of being a wife and Mom, I've finally got the message - a happy Mom makes for a happy home.

Not saying my home isn't happy, but I just needed some time to myself. No distractions. No projects half done. No long absences from my home. Just a little me time.

I feel selfish saying that. After all, as a wife and mother you have another standard of expectations to go by. Thankfully, I have a supportive husband who has encouraged me (for years) to get out and do something enjoyable. He has his music and writing to occupy those humdrum moments and up until lately I've had...uh....oh yes, the refrigerator and the t.v.

So I did two things this month. Signed up for gym membership, and enrolled myself in a beginner sewing course. One to satisfy a need, and the other a want.

I NEED to lose weight. At least the 150 lbs. I gained since meeting the hubby. Uh, you can close your mouth now, and yes that is the correct number. I gained a whole person. Actually, I gained the weight I should be weighing and did weigh once upon a happy-clothes-fitting time. Oh well, no time to waste on shoulda-coulda's. So, it's Zumba(which I absolutely love) every other day until I'm comfortable enough to run like the hell on a treadmill.

I had my first official sewing lesson last week and another tomorrow. It's been great for my mind and hands to reconnect. I love the sound the machine makes when I push against the pedal. I love browsing the fabric section of a store now. I love that I caught on faster than the others in the class. It makes me believe that by the end of the year I'll be a master seamstress and I'll qualify for Project Runway (I have the biggest imagination don't I?). I do have tons of ideas though. I just hope my knowledge of sewing will keep up with my creative flow.

So to all you busy bodies out there, I do hope you're allowing the right side of your brain to work itself. You won't regret it!

sometimes..

2010-07-14T19:08:00.001-07:00

Sometimes, when it's just me and my hubby at home, we take advantage of the rare moment to catch up, share some good laughs, chill out and enjoy each other and our silliness.

Sometimes, it's just pure silence. Overwhelmed by the days activities, too caught up with the kids to start a conversation (cause we both can go on and on and on). Routine does that to you. Keeps you neutral. No highs... no lows.

Sometimes, the rare moments we so look forward to, are turned into tense debates that have us both storming away and slamming doors and then.....silence again.

Sometimes, our opposing opinions take over the mutual respect we have for each other, and turn a simple conversation ... into a regretful one.

Sometimes, an apology does the trick.

Sometimes, it does not.

This time.. I'll just sleep on it.

To the rescue ..

2010-07-03T16:00:00.000-07:00

Not my day today.

Not at all.

It all started with the alarm (in my head) going off 4 hours early! I even thought I was late. I jumped out of bed in panic mode and got half dressed, before realizing the actual time. I calmed myself back down to a snooze, only to wake up to the actual alarm.. that DID NOT register in my head at all. Repeat above realization and panic mode .. and I was finally at work .. 30 minutes late! The rest of the day didn't match up and neither did the crankies I had to deal with.

Soooo, my answer to end it all?? CUPCAKES! Yummy mini ones. From the cupcake bakery down the street. Yes, I promise to eat a bowl of lettuce and tomatoes tomorrow. I'll even eat it twice.

Uh, of course I'm sharing with my family. They won't even bother to ask what they're for. I mean, who wants to discuss my on-the-job woes when you have a mouth full of Cherry Topped Red Velvet goodness?

Or delicate Lemon Drop Minis?

Or Italian Creme Treats?

Or Raspberry Filled Chocolate Delights?

Or...

Wait.

What we're we talking about again?

Sleepless and Itchy ..

2010-06-27T23:19:00.000-07:00

Okay, so a couple of days ago I pulled a 24 hour shift at the job. I know, I'm crazy... and even a little stupid. But, it gave me an extra day off and a little overtime money. Well, I slept majority of said day off, and the overtime will go straight to bills. So now, my days and nights are twisted in my brain. I can't figure out if I'm tired .. if I should be .. if it was even worth it?

Since I'm not all there at this point, hubby pulled me to the table and we had ourselves a little talk. Technically, GA wasn't supposed to be a permanent stay for us. It was supposed to be a 3-month deal. We are now 5 years later. What can I say? I'm a sucker for the Southern hospitality. Georgia has definitely beed good to us. No complaint there.

Now anybody who knows me, knows that I'm always down for a move. Back home, they call it itchy feet, I guess cause we can't stay still. I was born with the stuff. My feet are always ready to travel and experience new things, new surroundings, new cultures, new people, new food.. you get the picture.

My husband, however, has never felt the itch. Not even a tingle. He is a "homebody" at it's finest! Seriously. We can be on vacation, and he will be happy, right there, in the hotel room. That's just how my guy works. As long as we are having a good time, so is he.

So you can imagine my surprise, while on vacation, out of his mouth come the words "Well everyone, we're going to do our very best to get back here as soon as we can!"

I mean, did he really just put that out to the universe? Does he not understand how the universe works? Does he not know that once you proclaim something as such .... it becomes such?

I guess I better start wiping the shock off of my face. Cause it looks like we're making a comeback. Some are calling it The Movement. Now I never saw WA as a permanent home for my family, but I never really gave it a chance either. I only lived there a year before we moved to GA. This last trip back kinda opened my eyes to the possibilities.

First, we'll be on the West Coast. Closer to all my loved ones. I'll only have to cross the ocean. Not the ENTIRE USA + the OCEAN. I'll only be a 15 hour drive from my parents who now reside in CA. For me, the West Coast = the Best Coast for all the reasons above.

Second, my kids will grow up with FAMILY. OHANA. AIGA. The one thing (make that a HUGE thing) that we are lacking out here. They will have cousins their age to play and fight with. They will have Aunties and Uncles to correct them. This reason alone is what convinced my husband a move was right for us. Nothing like seeing your kids loved and adored and having a blast!

So it's a busy year for us. The Movement will hopefully go into effect next year. Time to prepare and plan. I wish we could move to Hawaii. It would be so perfect. Right now, Hawaii is unable to provide us with the independence and financial opportunities we've become so used to. Which pretty much means - no overdraft fees at the end of the month. Who knows, maybe I'll hit the lotto soon. Aahh yes..time to put that out into the universe!

My little ONE..

2010-06-24T15:44:00.000-07:00

A year ago today, I was on the road with my Mom heading to Kaneohe to get some material. On our way there, Aunty Harmony sent a text saying they were on the way to the hospital. By the time we made it to Fabric Mart, my daughter was born. I'll never forget that moment. I sat in my Mom's truck and cried my eyes out. I was sobbing uncontrollably. She was finally here... my beautiful daughter. Two weeks later, she was in my arms.

That seemed like yesterday.. yet, here we are a year later. From the moment we held her, she has melted our hearts and charmed her way through it all. She is adored by all of us, and surprisingly so by her big brother. He's been very good with her, and she's been very good for him. I guess that's how it goes with siblings.

She isn't walking yet, but she's definitely on her way. She has allergies to eggs and dairy, but very healthy otherwise. She is quiet and loves to be held. Would you believe her favorite things to play with are cars? Her favorite song is anything by Tutu. Her favorite food is a baked potato... hold all the fixins' please! She had 2 teeth at 4 months, and 6 more dropped in just this month. When a song comes on, you'll see her dancing. She is VERY shy around new faces, and will need a couple of days to get used to you. Please don't take it personal!

I can't imagine my life without my precious girl. I pray for her continued health and ongoing happiness. We are looking forward to conquering all those new milestones and a gazillion more smiles!

Happy 1st Birthday My Nyla Rose!

Lately, I'm just "Tuned" out!

2010-05-23T18:32:00.000-07:00

Been stressed, added more to my already full plate, and still dreaming big! So, naturally, when things get a little overwhelming, I tune myself out. It's some sort of psychological defense mechanism I created for myself. So aside from my booming cyber-farm, I've found myself looking for that feel good beat. YouTube has been a great friend lately. Found some oldies/goodies/newbies... and old hotties I crushed on in high school.

I love the collaboration of Chrisette Michele and Ne-Yo in the track above. It's smooth, it's sultry, and it's reminiscent of my favorite decade - - the '90s!! I always knew history would repeat itself (and believe it does almost...every 20 years or so). New artists are definitely bringing it w/newcomers like J Cole and Wale. I am in no way a hip-hop head - - but I do LOVE this genre. I LOVE it even more now that it's heading back to it's original sound. For the past 5 years I've lost the passion for it. It wasn't groundbreaking and raw like it used to be. Where artists where lyrically speaking and music was fine tuned and had pride!

But...slowly, I see it making it's comeback (YAY!). It may even be the old timers that kick it off. For instance, check out the latest single from the WU (well, three of them anyways - Method Man, Raekwon, and Ghost(face Killa):

I had a huge crush on Method Man when I was in my teens. When the Wu was killin it, and when scary had it's appeal on me. For some, this may not be your cup of tea. For me, it's like an old friend coming back after finding it's manhood! Like finding my old song grooving to a new beat.

Anyways... tuning out again.

Aunty Theresa

2010-04-18T20:35:00.000-07:00

This lovely lady was my Aunty, and sister to my grandmother. I haven't seen her in years, but every memory I have of her is filled with laughter, smiles, and family. Misses and love...

THERESA MAE SCANLAN ANDRADE

Age 76, of Honolulu, Hawaii went with God to her eternal home on March 23, 2010. Born in Fagatogo, American Samoa to John and Nora Scanlan. Theresa graduated from Sacred Hearts Academy and retired from Hawaiian Telephone Company. She will always be remembered for her joy and enthusiasm for life, her beautiful smile, warmth and caring ways. Theresa's memory, legacy, and spirit will live on through her family and all who knew her.Theresa is survived by her children: Noralynn Schubert, Gretchen Schubert LeGalley, Byron Schubert Sr., Wendee Schubert (Samuel) Van Gieson, Dawn-Sheree Young, Kanani Rose Young (Ethan) Aea; maternal aunt Emily Reed; sisters Rosary Catala, Gretchen Makaiwi, Anna Reed, Yvonne Foster; brothers: Clarence "Rags" and John Christopher Scanlan (Lindy); 18 grandchildren; 27 great-grandchildren; many cousins, nieces and nephews.

PLEASE JOIN US AS WE CELEBRATE THERESA'S LIFE ON SUNDAY, APRIL 18, 2010 AT MILILANI MAUKA CHAPEL IN WAIPIO (end of Ka Uka Blvd). VISITATION BEGINS AT 9:00 A.M., SERVICE AT 10:00 A.M. Refreshments to follow. ALOHA ATTIRE. NO FLOWERS. Inurnment at a later date in American Samoa.

Officially a K I D!

2010-03-29T18:29:00.000-07:00

King Tunoa is officially a 3-year old. What an unreal year he's had. Just one year ago he was admitted into a childrens hospital for Kawasaki syndrome. A couple of days after his birthday party he became very ill and was diagnosed immediately. I was so frightened by his weakness at that time. His joints were stiff and pained and and he had a fever for several days. His strength through the pain and fear was most humbling. How does something so small know how to fight as such? Having him here is something I will never take for granted. Period. We do not believe the Kawasaki will ever come back (statistically... it's rare and almost never). He does still suffer from eczema and allergies, but that has never slowed him down. Still a toughie!

This little boy was quite the jetsetter this last year. He was able to travel with his Dad to Washington, and with us all to Hawaii and Colorado. Both times reuniting with family. He enjoyed his cousins, the beach, the airplane and most of all - the attention.

Tunoa completed potty training at just a little over 2 years old. I lie to you not, he has only had 2 small wet bed accidents. Just two, and those were partially our fault because we let him drink way too much before bedtime. He can also ride his tricycle and maneuver it really well.He can recognize and say all his colors, body parts, and family. He is great with a fork and spoon, and this little southerner says "please" and "thank you" about 95% of the time. His favorite color is still yellow, and cars/trucks are by far his favorite things in the world!

His attention span has grown to the point where he will actually sit and watch a cartoon or movie. He has very strong likes and dislikes and no problem verbalizing them.

Tunoa also welcomed his little sister into our family this year. With open arms. When she went for a week visit elsewhere, he was lost without her. He has been the BEST helper when it comes to Nyla Rose. He always includes her and any hint of jealousy is always soothed with a hug from Mama or Daddy.

I really can't believe his baby and toddler days are almost done. BUT, I'm excited to watch him in this new year and see what adventures he will take us on. I love you son! You're a GREAT person that never ceases to amaze me! The world has no idea!

a moment of silence, then appreciation

2010-03-05T19:24:00.000-08:00

Today,

I attended the viewing services of a man named Thomas Sila.

He passed away February 28, after a long and hard fought battle with cancer.

At the young age of 44.

His wife is my boss. He was a pilot for the company I work for.

Today,

I gave her a hug.

Nothing else to say.

I shed tears as a slideshow played in lieu of a traditional viewing.

I watched her cry. I watched his mother cry.

I cried silently for their loss,

Side by side with my colleagues,

we said a prayer for their comfort.

Tonight,

I slow danced with my husband.

to VH1 Soul.

While my daughter fell asleep,

and my son enjoyed his lollipop.

We were cheek to cheek.

In sync, and in silence.

Tonight,

I will never forget Thomas Sila.

Who truly loved his wife,

who truly loved him back.

Who helped me realize

how long it's been,
since my love and I danced.

Rest in peace.

Taupau family says farewell..

2010-03-01T07:46:00.000-08:00

Over the weekend, we gathered with our Samoan community here in GA. We said goodbye to our dear friend Leta, and her two children Sama and Alisa. Her husband, Charles, is a soldier in the US Army and their orders came in for Fort Drum, NY. Although we will miss them, we know they are excited for their new life in the Big Apple.

The Taupau's are only the second Samoan family I met when we first moved out here. Anyone after that, would actually still be their family! We have gathered on many occasions, and they have always opened up their home to my family. The first time my son was ever able to sleep overnight with someone - - was with Leta and Charles. That was a tough obstacle as parents, to finally trust and let go. He was in great hands! I will miss this family. I hope we can connect with them during our trip up this September.

We wish them a happy journey! Love you guys!

February babies!

2010-02-26T21:05:00.001-08:00

For some reason, February seemed more sentimental this year and it had nothing to do with Valentines Day. So maybe I've been spending time counting my blessings. In short, the events below are of importance to me ... but more for the person they honor.

Feb 24 .. Uncle Tuggy's Birthday

This pic is of us in San Francisco back in 2003. He came to show support at a dance my cousins and I threw as a fundraiser. His presence was of far more support to me that day than any financial contribution. He is my Mom's brother and super cool. We don't see each other as often as I'd like to, but nothing ever changes when we do. Happy Birthday Uncle!

Feb. 25 - - Papa's Birthday!

The gorgeous Hawaiian man above is my late grandfather Melvin Makaiwi. He would have been 75 years of age this month. We lost him a decade ago to pancreatic cancer. A fisherman by trade, he was buried at sea in Samoa. Maybe that explains why the ocean calms me and I feel protected when I am near it. He is sorely missed by everyone even after 10 years. His humility and hardworking spirit can't be outdone by anyone I know. It is his humble upbringing and sincerity that makes me so proud to be Hawaiian. So many lessons I have taken away from his life and most were by his example, as he was a man of few words. I miss you, Papa! Thank you for making everyone feel like your favorite.........even though I really know the truth ;-)

Feb 26 - - Tina's Birthday

So, this lovely lady is "technically" my homie, classmate and pal since '93. But in this reality, she's my sister. Try and tell me anything different. Not only is she drop dead gorgeous on the outside .. meet her, and you'll see why she stays that way - - a true sweetheart! Maletina is truly one of my besties, and I really wish we lived closer to each other. We have been thru some things, seen each other thru things and you can believe we'll continue to do so - mos def! I lift my glass to her cause she truly makes an effort to keep everyone in contact with each other. Miss ya sissy, and H A P P Y B D A Y! (You can kick me later for stealing your pic :)

from his Daddy!

2010-02-07T16:12:00.000-08:00

I hope I never forget my son singing his little soul out to a song yesterday. It was one of his Dad's recordings. We were on the way home from a birthday party, maybe 20 minutes from our place. I didn't realize how much of the song he knew, maybe because I don't think we play it that much in the car.

But he sang it, with everything he had in him. I hope he never loses that passion. I've lost mine about so many things.... and these are things I hate to admit I'm good at. I do that so I don't harp on how much time I've wasted with nonsense.

My sons love of dance - - all Mama. Reggae really makes him smile and when my little bro used to babysit him, he was immersed in it ALL DAY.

However .... when it comes to really feeling the music .. any music... he got it from his Daddy.

Speaking of Big Daddy:

My hubby and good friend have been making music together for a couple of years now. Both very talented. My husband is an excellent lyricist and I wish he would do more spoken word like he used to. Anyways, when I figure out how to post music here..I will. Our good friend Kalani is an all-around musician and vocalist. He can sing, rap, and play the keyboard and drums ...by EAR! Together they create a unique sound influenced by Rap, Reggae, Island Soul, and R&B.

(recent flyer of my husband (Justice) in the back, and Kalani (Yay) in the front)

So, for about a good year now they have been entering open mic competitions and performing at clubs whenever the opportunity presents itself. Since both are working men, staying out late for the after party isn't an option. The downside of that is whenever they win a session (and they've taken it quite often) they have to forfeit to the next group because they aren't present to accept the prize! They go, lay down their performance, come right back home to their families, and more often than not wake up 2 hours later for work. No question where Tunoa gets his passion from.

Recently, they've been pushing the scene alot harder and have really started to build a fanbase. After a recent performance, it was announced that Justice and Yay were chosen to open up a concert in Augusta for Lil Jon and the Eastside Boyz.

Yes, same Lil Jon that's singing "YYEEEEEAAAAAHH" in your head. Let us know if you'll be in the area or already going, and if you are...please cheer for Justice & Yay. I support my hubby from home by staying with the kiddies, but any and all support is truly appreciated by them!

Feb 20 ... they will perform at the Savoy Lounge (flyer below):

Then another big show on 28-FEB in Atlanta. Tickets can be purchased through this site:

http://tickets.aftonshows.com/justiceyay

Very proud of them. Everyone has encouraged them to push their talent to the limit ... and they are FINALLY going for it.

Music is the language of the soul. Show your love to the voices that surround you!

D E U C E

2010-01-24T17:36:00.000-08:00

Ah, yes...they have officially arrived. Perhaps a considerable delay, or a lucky streak. Whatever the case, the terrible 2's blasted through in full force yesterday. My son has really been testing his ground with us lately. As expected, he is quite the passionate little one when it comes to his "cause." I so admire his little spirit, his persistence, and his clever style of debate.

Yesterday, however, all the admiration went out the door when he yelled "I don't want you, Mommy!"

I think my heart crumbled into 10,000,000 itty-bitty little pieces, formed into little steak knives, and had a blast at my self-esteem! Since he already disobeyed Tutu, I was forced to put him in his room for a timeout (yes, I can see some of you rolling your eyes - and we're trying this method instead of jumping to fat sasa's all over his muli, okay?).

He plopped himself right in front of his bedroom door and screamed at the top of his lungs "I don't want you, Mommy - - I WANT DADDY!"

About 10 minutes later, his Dad came home, and he quickly changed his plea into a sobbing "But I want to hooold you, Daddy?"

Now, I'm a real sucker for my son - no question about it, the boy is charming. But, I realized that this was the crucial moment where we had to play his punishment out - or face more explosive tantrums in the future. Figuring out the balance between teaching a lesson AND without him losing his little spirit (see earlier mentioned"timeout") - - - C H A L L E N G I N G !

I let Daddy take over from that point. Because .. well .. sometimes (and I hate to say this) .. it really does take a man. And so, I let them go... and let them be.

Anyways, I didn't think about how much his words had hurt me until pillow talk with my hubby later on that night. Just repeating it had me teary eyed. How could my precious boy despise me so? My husband did his reassuring magic - - but I still lost sleep over the matter.

I went to work and started my day as normal. Around 10am I picked up a phone call and it went like this:

ME: Crew travel..Tia speaking

CALLER: Hiyee Mama!

ME: Hiyee my son!

TUNOA: I sawdee mama. (uh, Daddy coerced?)

ME: Aawwwww (uh, coerced or not it worked) It's okay, I love you!

TUNOA: I lah you too Mama. I saaawdee Mama. Come hooome, otaay?

ME: Aww, thank you, I will see you later okay? I love u!

TUNOA: I lah u Mama......PEACE!

Ah yes, peace indeed. I love, love, love this 2-year old....

Fresh Air

2010-01-20T08:11:00.000-08:00

(freezing in Lafayette, CO!)

(too cold outside for baby!)

(Tunoa eventually figures out how to make snowballs) (Nyla Rose enjoying her swing ride at the playground)

(Tunoa as a frog, before he hippity-hops to the playground)

It's been a pretty cold winter out here in Georgia. The sun is finally peeking through giving us highs of 50-60 degrees. We'll take it! As a family, we are trying to get our kids outside more often. They are both bursting with so much energy, and it pains me to see them stuck inside due to weather. Surprisingly, any site of neighborhood kids playing outside is quite rare. I know they all live here because I see them all load into the school bus in the mornings. Once in a blue moon someone will speed by on their scooter, but quietly. Where is everybody?

As children, my brother and I got more than our share of Vitamin D. I remember running home from school to play outside. I remember my Mom yelling at us to get back in the house for chores or dinner. I remember playing hopscotch in Utah, lape in Samoa, hide and seek (on skates) in Cali, and shambattle in Hawaii. I don't recall owning a gaming system. Even an Atari back in the days when all my cousins had one (please believe we wanted one). I remember bike races with the neighbors, and my first pair of skates. My brother got a skateboard that same Christmas. I broke my arm within a couple of weeks. I got right back on those skates when the cast came off. I remember hiking all the time at Coyote Hills. I remember playing with bugs and worms and chasing people with them.

We were always outside. Even as a teenager, I would WALK to and from school, and to my friend's, to the gas station for snacks, to check the mail at the post office, and even to the beach (which was a good 30 min walk one way). When I moved to California, I walked to the bus stops, to the liquor store, grocery store, the park, and once home from work (ridiculous idea... blisters for days!). I didn't own a car until I was 29 years old living in GA, and only because there was a true need for it.

In Hawaii, when driving down the road you always see people outside of their house. Under their carport, or a tree, a tent. On the back of a pickup truck, on a wall, at a bus stop. Just hanging. Outdoors is where it's at! I am happier there.

The clean air soothes me and makes me feel whole again. I feel connected to my youthful spirit. I can't wait for the Spring season to be upon us. Maybe I'll blossom again.

January brings..

2010-01-16T09:27:00.000-08:00

Leave it to me, to skip over the entire holiday season before posting anything. Expect alot of backtracking this year..

I am sitting downstairs in my Uncle Marc's basement, in beautiful Colorado Springs, CO. It is our last day here before we head back to GA. I don't want to leave. It will mean vacation is over and reality will take over our lives again.

We were so lucky to have my parents join us. As we said farewell to them last night, it dawned on me how wise they truly are. After 30 years, they are no longer in a home with children or grandchildren. It is the two of them.... together.....alone. My Mom just celebrated her 51st bday. She is happier and healthier today than she was just 5 years ago. What an impact that can make in a marriage. They are in sync, and after all these years, it comes as no surprise....but is so refreshing to see.

On our way home, I looked at my husband with renewed eyes as he drove in silence. We, too, have become more in sync in our marriage. We don't question the others reasoning.. but trust it is always with the others best interests in mind. It's hard for me to believe that I have known him since he was only 23 years old, but he has always been an old soul, and I have always been attracted to such.

Although January is typically a month of goals and planning, this one has so far been one filled with great family moments and firsts for all of us. I hope the rest of the year plays out the same..

already?

2009-11-19T10:35:00.001-08:00

My little 2-year old son put his mama in check last night. When dinner is done, Daddy gives him a shower and either one of us gets him ready for bed. Tunoa has severe eczema and after every bath, his skin requires a thick slathering of moisturizer + 3 prescription creams. This has always been challenging because Tunoa does not like to sit very still while we do all of this.

Since we are living out of boxes (until tomorrow...moving day - YAY!), the lotions and things are scattered all over the place. While I walked around last night searching for them, I noticed him in his dresser grabbing his pajamas and underwear. I tried not to let him know I was watching him.. but I really didn't expect him to dress himself completely without my assistance. Usually we have to open up the pants and undies so he can just throw his legs in there.

So I prepared myself for his usual "Dish way, Mama?" or "Like dish?".

Not once did he ask me last night. It took him about two tries to figure out how to get the tag in the back for his underwear and pants. His shirt took him a little longer, but he did it without any questions. When he was fully dressed, his little voice delightfully yelled "Me did it Mama!"

Yes, you did son...yes, you did.

I teared up with the realization that right around the corner, my little toddler will be a little boy. The daily routine of helping him prepare for the day will be soon be second nature to him. I knew this day would come. I am proud of his confidence. Witnessing his sincere and well earned pride is refreshing and encouraging. It is all the thanks I will ever need.

Take the time today to recognize a child for their growth. They are wonderful, intelligent little beings!

Four Months!

2009-11-05T17:29:00.000-08:00

I can't believe my little Nyla Rose is four months old! We took her in for her 4-month check-up last week, and she is progressing wonderfully. She weighs in at 16 lbs/10 oz and stands at 25 inches! I am amazed at how quickly she got to this point. She can no longer fit into 6-9 month clothing. It's all about the 12 month outfit these days! Due to her accelerated growth, we are forced to buy her new clothing already.... and she came with tons to begin with! So whoever has a girl first in my family will get a bunch of clothes!

Her hair is growing! She has little curls that frame her face and the back is wavy. We are still unsure of her eye color, as it changes depending on her mood or lighting or even what she's wearing. They can go from dark brown to hazel to silver blue to olive green. Absolutely beautiful each time. They say at the 6-month mark her eye color should stay the same, but I'm not so sure about that.

Nyla Rose is usually called by her full first name or "Lala" for short. She is trying everyday to sit up on her own, does not like to lie down, and definitely does not like being on her tummy. She sits just fine on anyones lap, and will be your best friend if you just talk to her. More often than not she talks to the tv, because she swears they are talking to her. She loves her brother and thinks he is the most hilarious person in the whole world. Only he can make her crack up by sitting down or standing up. Uh, we must not do it enough for her to find it funny?

She is still on soy milk and the doc prefers that she stay on it until the remainder of the year. We will start her on solids then because she is doing just fine with the milk. She loves to play with her feet, and chews on her hands whenever the opportunity presents itself. She is starting to hold her bottle... but only after encouraging her to do so. She has the highest pitched cry that will bring you to attention. True girl!

During Halloween she starred as a Lady Bug and patiently waited for trick-or-treating to be done before throwing a major fit! We love our little baby, and am proud and relieved at the progress she makes daily. It is truly a blessing to have a healthy baby girl!

"If you bite it.....WRITE IT!"

2009-10-22T17:41:00.000-07:00

So says my Weight Watchers instructor. Yes, I found yet another way to try and lose weight. I joined with a group of co-workers since our company is offering the meetings at the job and a nice little discount for the 6-week program. We just finished our second weigh in on Wednesday.

First week, I lost 4...............OUNCES!

I know, that was real encouraging right? However, I did pay a visit to the county fair that weekend and totally broke the rules. So, losing ounces despite the annual grease and sugar download...............priceless!

I decided to be a little more serious the next week. In other words... stick to the point allotment given to me - - without any dips into the bonus points allowed.

Second weigh in, I lost 3....................POUNDS!

Seriously? How that happened I have no idea, but it was motivating indeed. This program requires you to write everything you eat during the day. Each food item is assigned a point value. You are assigned a certain amount of points. The more you weigh, the more points you have. You lose the weight... you lose points. So leafy greens = 0 points. Small hamburger = 6 points. The healthier you eat, the more volume you will likely be able to consume. Any junk food consumption will have you use your total allotment with one #1 meal from Mcdonalds - - - - A DAY!

Sounds easy, but it has been challenging. Especially when you're the only one in the house doing it. Asking everyone NOT to ask me if I want a piece of whatever their eating...just isn't realistic. Not when your family can eat off of each others plates! Mind over matter (or platter), is my attempt at teaching my brain to connect with my tummy, and say ENOUGH! So, I can't knock them... this is my battle and they are supporting me from a distance. Although at times it seems like a short drive to the buffet distance.....

.........where a SALAD is always an option, right?

Oh how I love options! My goal is to lose 20 pounds by the end of the year...Dec 31st. I will report back then!

My Beloved Samoa......

2009-09-30T17:00:00.000-07:00

***this picture just breaks my heart. My grandmas home would be on the far left corner (not shown). Much of my youth was spent in the village of Fagatogo. I recognized it the minute I saw this! SO SAD!

My heart and mind are consumed with concern and prayers for the people of Samoa. All of the Samoan islands. It is so heartbreaking to hear of the damages along the coast, but more so to learn of the loss of loved ones. I am so fortunate, for all my immediate family and distant relatives have reported back that they are okay and only dealing with property damages.

Unfortunately, I cannot say the same for my husbands family. His aunt (grandmas sister) drowned in the tsunami that hit Leone, and her two daughters are in the hospital due to injury. This is especially hard to take as my hubby just lost his grandma a few months ago. Now they must say goodbye to her dear cousin who was more like her sister.

I feel so helpless. Can't call anyone, can't hop on a plane to help with clean-up, and with the power out I can't even send a few dollars. The more I look at the devastation online, the more I tear up. I grew up in American Samoa, and lived in Leone and Fagatogo for many years. Our family home escaped water damage living up the hill, but the area below is a complete wreck. I couldn't believe my eyes seeing the water level on the malae, and all the cars thrown about. The distressed people on the hill....

Although this tears at my heart, there is one thing I am most certain of, OUR PEOPLE. Without any hesitation, they will rally for their fellow man and reach out to one another . They will gather in prayer, feed the less fortunate, open their home to those misplaced, and work until they can no longer. When FEMA/Red Cross/Government agencies arrive and rebuild, the people of Samoa will be right there ready to assist them in whatever way they can. Despite their loss, when these agencies leave Samoa, the people will shower them with gifts of appreciation and kindness. I know this, for I have witnessed it many a hurricane disaster back home.

Samoa KNOWS how to SURVIVE!!

They will move forward - no matter what! My Tutuila, Manu'a, Upolu, Savaii - - have faith. Samoans nationwide are praying and pulling for every one of you. Stay the course and NEVER GIVE UP! To my dearest of families out there - - I LOVE YOU!

*****For those who are away from Samoa looking for a way to help:

Send contributions to Hawaii State Chapter, 4155 Diamond Head Road, Honolulu 96816, or to American Red Cross, P.O. Box 37243, Washington, D.C., 20013.
Call (800) 733-2767
Donate online at www.redcross.org

Time to Renew..

2009-09-28T17:59:00.000-07:00

When our company moved us out here 4 years ago, they put us in a 2bdrm/2bath apartment. Our rent was free for 3 months, and we had the option to return to Washington. Little did I realize then, that a) we would still be here, and b) our once roomy apartment would soon be filled to the brim with little people and all that comes with them.

Our lease is up again, and our family is pleading for more space within these walls. I mean, storage is used to it's maximum, even spring cleaned during the summer/fall/winter seasons! So, our family set about this past weekend to look for roomier accommodations in the form of a single family home. That tiring, all-day, google directions-- disaster of an event led us to our final decision...............TIME TO RENEW (AGAIN!).

Financially it's the smarter decision for us. We have enough to worry about through the end of year, and a "move" on top of that, will surely put us in a position to buy store brand mayo vs. Best Foods. A position no one ever wants to be in...right?

Of course, with that decision came a domino-effect of others. My favorite, however, was that we "refresh" the look of our apartment. Be it new furniture, paint a wall, move things around, get rid of something.... JUST DO IT. So that very same day I started on a long-awaited project of...UPHOLSTERING! Mind you, it was just our dining set chairs.... but a task I have never tried before.

When Olahana and I first moved in together, we literally had nothing but a futon and our clothes. Slowly, we started building our home, and our first major purchase after months of saving was our dining room set. Here is a sample of one of our chairs BEFORE upholstering - - *yes, the seat is (or was) white. It was purchased long before we thought kids would be a part of the picture*

....and the old chair turned NEW!

....a side by side look. By the way, to renew the entire set didn't cost me more than $20..TOTAL! (Heavy duty staple gun, scissors, and that is a lavalava that didn't quite wrap around anyone here! The leftovers were made into a matching tablecloth!)

....and the reasons why my chairs needed to renewed (and in a darker color) -

Tunoa totally took over baby's Bumbo seat. She obviously doesn't mind. AND since they get new chairs... mommy and daddy do too! So, as the seasons change, and you long for something new... take a look around your home (or in your life) and see what requires a little refreshing! It's well worth the effort!

Hi Ho the Dairy Oh, the Farmer in the Dell

2009-08-31T22:01:00.000-07:00

If any of you are looking for me, you can find me working on my farm. Ah yes, for I am part of a joyful, green, and committed group of Facebook farmers. I gotta tell you folks, this game has me buggin out. For those of you who haven't tried it yet, I won't go into detail on how to play, as it's not about competition with this application. At least that's been my observation. It's about .... well for me.... FUN! I can grow pumpkins, rice, strawberries, raspberries, eggplant, and an umpteen amount of fruit bearing trees right from the comfort of my seat. Seriously... the seeds "grow" within hours, and sometimes days and harvesting never felt so good. I even have livestock! Do you know what an exhilarating feeling it is, to rush home, and head straight to the computer so I can harvest my crops before they go bad??

On top of all that ... I get to design the way MY farmland should look. Which, I believe, is what attracted me to the game the most. Anyways, this clearly explains my absense for the past week........and probably weeks to come.

Won't you be, please won't you be, oh please won't you be ....my neighbor?

Baby books.

2009-08-20T21:23:00.000-07:00

I finally decided to tackle my sons baby book. The boy is 2-years old now, and all I had written in there was his name. Before another weekend went by, I tried to fill out as much as I could while they slept. After about a good 30-minutes, I felt like kicking myself in the butt. There are so many slots that ask for his "firsts." Like, first time he smiled/sat up/stood up/fed himself/first tooth, etc. This is where procrastination tends to come back and haunt me. I should have remembered those things. I'm his mama .. shouldn't I know these things by heart? The book even has pages to record all who came to his showers, all his doc visits for the first year, and even to go so far as to ask what his weight/length/eating habits are during those times.

Sadly, my memory isn't the best, and I find myself "guesstimating" some of the answers. I wonder if these things will matter to him? My Mom kept a baby book for me until I was about 3 years old. I don't even know where that book is anymore, but I do remember reading it and thoroughly enjoying what she wrote about me at each stage. I want my kids to have the same fuzzy feeling when they read their books.

Also noticed the baby books are not very adoption friendly. I've looked online for such books, but they are VERY expensive (like over $50!). I'm trying to be sensitive to my kids feelings when writing things and always try to include their birthmothers as possible. I am most certain they will appreciate the info on how their birthmothers felt during their third trimester, and what their cravings were, and how long they were in labor, and who their OBGYN was, and how they found out the news, and so on and so on. Obtaining this information isn't always an easy subject to bring up though. Do I guesstimate again?

My goal is to bring my sons book up to date by the end of the summer. I need to start on my daughters as well. I hope they enjoy the book and the brain strain it gave me. I want to give it them when they first learn they are about to be parents. Do any of you preserve your memories in any particular way?

Meatless Mondays!

2009-08-10T21:41:00.001-07:00

With the cost of recent travels + adoption + life in general, we have limited our dining out to a bare minimum. It's been a good month since we've eaten outside of the home. Never thought I'd see that day come, but it has, and I'm so proud of my family for hanging in there.

In an effort to spice up the meal rotation at home, I've introduced my family to Meatless Monday. Basically, cut meat out of all meals one day a week. No beef, pork, chicken and fish. I need to see what eggs are considered. Anyways, the goal of this initiative is to cut meat consumption by 15%, for the betterment of our personal health, as well as our beloved planet.

Check out http://www.meatlessmonday.com/ for more information on the effects of meat (I am writing all of this with the Hillshire Farms "GO MEAT" commercial in my head).

Well, apparently my husband didn't get the memo and thought it was only for dinner. Here he is being sarcastic at the dinner table. This is his attempt at apologizing, for not paying attention when I CONTINUALLY announced that Meatless Monday would take place on none other than....Monday?? Go figure. As always, his sense of humor with the t-shirt got him out of the doghouse.

My day started with 2 slices of toast, topped with chunky peanut butter, then finished with a slab of apple butter. I think those two items are great together.

While my husband dined on leftover curry chicken for lunch, I enjoyed two grilled cheese sandwiches on wheat bread. I love to put thick cut tomato slices in there with a touch of sea salt. On the side, were a few potato chips with chunky salsa.

Dinner was simple and easy to prepare, but filling and delicious at the same time. I made a mushroom pasta. Penne was the choice of pasta. Mushrooms (regular, portobello, and shiitake) were sauteed in a little butter, a lot of garlic, marsala wine, and then finished off with some light cream. I added a diced tomato to give the sauce a little heartiness and tossed it with the penne. YUMMY! On the side was a salad of lettuce, cucumbers, and tomatos (can you tell I love tomatos yet?). A light raspberry vinaigrette accompanied the salad and dinner was served!

Another tradition has possibly started in our household, as it received great reviews. This will be the plan for the rest of the year. Maybe by 2010, we'll add another meatless day to our week.

Join us!

*evotia*

"nothing"

2009-08-05T23:44:00.000-07:00

ah yes.. the common answer to the question "What's on your mind?"

My hubby and I ask it to each other often....and more often than not, the answer is a simple two syllables of emptiness. My guess is that it puts us on the spot. My thoughts are usually a random discussion I have within the walls of this body. So when the question is asked it can at times seem intrusive. As if my hubby was eavesdropping on a private conversation with my girls(rarely is that the case .. cause a phone call with my girls usually puts me in the bedroom closet with the doors closed and a pillow to relax on and stifle the laughs.....ah yes, my little retreat).

So, here are some of my random thoughts for the day ... a random exersize I assigned myself. Although it feels like we converse about everything, it's the thoughts he has throughout the day that peak my curiousity. What is it that gets him through the day? What goes through his mind on the way to work and back? Is it the car in front of him? Is it the price of gas...lunch? Does he write lyrics in his head all day?

Here they are in no particular order:

*ooh, my hair is finally past my shoulders! and no split ends!

*i really just don't care how the hell my feet look anymore. $20 for a pedi isn't in the budget these days.

*did i really just spend $60 in the health food store? i mean really...the HEALTH FOOD STORE??

* i just got my daily dose of vitamin d sitting in the sun.

*my tastebuds are back! and a wahoo sandwich w/tomato, alfalfa sprouts, potato chips on the side NEVER tasted so good. i think i'll eat 2 more....okay..shame!

*tunoa is going to love the vitamins I just got him!

*how in the hell did Fanny Pack place #9 (out of 10) for best performance? They deserve to be in the top 3!!!! they got jipped again...

* if all the dance crews wore masks like the jabbawokkees, would they look just as good as them? i think so...

* okay what is so hard about putting a trash bag in the trash can? WHAT?

* text msgs shouldn't replace a good conversation .. but it seems that way lately..

* okay, i don't feel like working... maybe i'll blog instead....

...........and that's how I ended up here. I think I'll do this more often. That way, whenever I ask myself "WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?" - I'll at least have it in writing.

Any random thoughts out there? Surprise yourself...

Gala gala's have a way of making me go hmm??

2009-08-04T20:38:00.001-07:00

Sorry for the visual, but it's true. Our house has become infected with a nasty little cold virus, and it's hit me harder than I anticipated. My little Tunoa came home from daycare on Friday with a little cough (which is typical for daycare). By Sunday, he was wheezing, I was sneezing, and Nana was hacking. It is Wednesday and we are still wiped out! The last time I was sick like this was close to two years ago. In fact, I was so sick - - I denounced all cigarettes in my life, and never once looked back. Which made me wonder if I should be doing the same with something else this time?

Thankfully, my platinum-lunged husband has yet to sniffle. With a newborn, it has become a challenge with Nana and I both out + caring for a sick toddler. Olahana has stepped in more with Nyla Rose duties, and unexpectedly given them an opportunity to bond. In an effort to keep her from catching anything (which at this point is going to seem impossible), we have tripled our sanitizing efforts as well as kept our distance from baby - - no easy feat. I have heard a couple of sneezes here and there, and maybe a few coughs, but she is one tough cookie. I pray her little immune system battles and overcomes whatever virus comes her way.

This illness has brought about some realizations that I must come to grip with before it's too late. I am no longer overweight - - I am morbidly obese. Straight up. My kids need me, I am their Mama. I need to shake myself to reality and get out of this fantasy that I can drop it at anytime if I wanted to. What is the hold up? Why are you cheating your self out of a great time with your kids? Not only that, but how the hell did you let yourself get here? Getting comfortable is one thing, letting go of ones self.. another. I think all the damage I have done to my body during my days of youth and carefree living are catching up to me. And this body, just can't handle it.

I'm up for the challenge again, and am ready to denounce all unhealthy matters in my life. I am a strong believer that a healthy mind will promote a healthy body. I will be faced with this battle probably until the day I die. Whether it be my useless eating, negative thoughts, stress, or laziness.. how I wish to bid thee farewell!

So, with all that said, today...I take responsibility for all of MY issues. They are solely MINE. Not my husbands, not my parents, and I am determined to not make them my children's. May healthier days come our way..

and so we named her....

2009-07-20T09:55:00.000-07:00

Nyla Rose Kaha'awinanaalamauna Aveolela Lolotai-Johnson

The first name Nyla Rose is to honor our Mom's Nylalynn and Rosalia.

Her middle name Kaha'awinanaalamauna means "the gift by way of the mountains" to honor her birthmother and place of birth (Colorado).

Her Dad chose Aveolela, which means "Ray of sunshine" or "Sunbeam" since she is his first daughter.

Our daughter was born June 24 of this year. She shares the day with my Uncle Marcus.

This picture overwhelms my heart. To have these two babies....I am so blessed in this lifetime.

....my lonely days are over...

2009-06-14T08:41:00.000-07:00

..at laaast, my love has come home! Well, he'll be home in about 4 hours. But I'm feeling Etta's passion at the moment.

My honey is returning from his grandmas funeral in Washington. It's been a long 4 days for him, with feaus and duties as first grandchild .. but he survived and being surrounded by family is a blessing beyond measure. I think he's finally realizing how out of touch he's been with everyone (I'll be silently haunting him with my "told you so's"). It's no surprise to anyone that my husband is not one to pick up a phone and make conversation. He's just not that great at keeping in touch with people. Not that any love is lost, cause the minute you see him .. it seems like the gaps in time vanishes. Anyways, he's promised to do a much better job at making contact with the aiga.

Which is great news to me. I still don't feel as if I'm connected with my in-laws the way he has with my family. It isn't anything negative at all. However, lack of contact and everyone busy in their own worlds doesn't help the bond grow either. Do know that I absolutely love them! They are quirky, crazy, outspoken, and full of love for each other just like my family. They love hard and fight hard just like we do. The Johnsons give that open-the-fridge-and-help-yourself comforting instantly when we're in North Carolina. So, hearing my husband promise more effort in the contact department gets a round of applause from me. We're already making plans to join everyone in Seattle for Grandma Ane's 1 year.

Anyways, my we are just counting down the hours 'til Big Daddy gets in! I miss hearing him and Tunoa get loud and rowdy. I can't imagine how much Tunoa must miss him, he's like a puppy looking for his owner. He has no idea he's coming back today, so I'm excited to see that reunion. It's a beautiful day outside, maybe we can reconnect at the pool. Toss a few hot dogs on the grill and get back into the routine of it all.

See you soon, babe!

*evotia*

Clickin the heels!

2009-06-13T19:09:00.000-07:00

Call me Dorothy, cause there is NO place like home. You can quadruple the sentiment behind that statement, cause my home is the beautiful State of Hawaii.

The Lolotai-Johnson's will be returning home in exactly 7 days for a family reunion! Somebody out there choohoo for us!

I've been doing a lot of thinking since I booked the tickets in April. Somehow, in the last 13 years of independent mainland living, I've managed to convince myself that home is where the heart is. I never experienced being homesick until recently. Maybe it's because I'm 4500 miles away living on the East Coast.I left when I was 18 years old to California. What a fearless time! I left with only $300 in my account. I pretended there was $3000 saved up when my parents questioned me about my survival plans without a job. I partied like no tomorrow for the first year. Checked myself into Job Corp for another. The rest of that decade was spent working and experiencing the wonders of true unsupervised youth! Ahh..to be that young again.

Now in settled mode, my heart aches for my family.

Maybe if they lived somewhere in the vicinity range of 2000 miles, I'd be at ease with my location. But would that be the deciding factor? I have major cravings for the ocean. I am 4-hour drive to any sight of one. Big difference from just a walk away. I miss the grooves of the Koolau mountains..the ocean breeze..The BUS (it really is the best!).. FRUIT PUNCH.. ha, and LOCALS!

Perhaps this trip home will be the straw that breaks the camels back. Maybe this will push us into a major move home...for good. But, with the Hawaiian economy facing a questionable future, two kids in diapers, no college degree (that would be me only), and a credit score the same as my weight (don't you dare give me a perfect credit score!) - we will be semi-dependant on the parentals for living accommodations/transportation and all else that a move requires.

Is this the smart thing to do? While a return home seems to be the answer to my cravings, will I miss my independence more?

I need to keep clicking...

*evotia*

That's my name, don't wear it out!

2009-06-12T17:57:00.000-07:00

I started a blog a few months ago and just couldn't keep up with it the way I wanted to. Maybe because I felt compelled to stick to what I categorized it as - - a blog about my family.

It's not that I have nothing to say about them, or us as a whole, but it just didn't come out the way I wanted it to. Perhaps it was my anal tendencies. Nevertheless, time to start anew!

Anyways, this blog title came to me the other day. I had a fafa friend who used to always sing my name in song. Like 50 Cent's birthday song... you know, the whole "Go Shorty..it's your bday..." tune? He would do my name in similar fashion..so it would go...

Go Evo...(repeat - go Evo!)
It's your bday (it's my bday!)
Evo's gonna party like its her bday..

Then one day out of nowhere.. it ended in:

Go Evo...(go Evo..!!)
Evo...lution...(Evo...lution??)

Say what? Maybe it was just a random thought for him... but I absolutely LOVED IT! With a name like Evo (pronounced eh-voh), you hear it all as a child. I've been called Evil, Evol, Evelyn, Ebo, Eeblo, Abble, and the list truly does go on. Usually, I can see the humor one tries to apply when stating my name, but quite frankly folks, it's old and annoying already.

I was named after my great-grandmother Evotia Afoa Saaga (pictured above - isn't she gorgeous?). My Mom wanted to name me Tana or Tani. Dad called my Mom one day and said he wanted me to be named Evotia (thank you, Dad!). I never had the priviledge of meeting her. She passed on when my father was still a young boy. My grandmother often talks about her mother and always in a positive light. She was a true woman of her time by running the household and a dance group. Just like her daughter (my grandmother), she kept things in order and moving when they needed to be. I am truly in awe of the women from generations past. Talk about true soldiers!

My name is unique, and rare indeed. It is also biblical. Evotia is the Samoan translation for Euodia, a woman who is named in Phillipians. Brief entry in the bible, of her and another woman and their encounter with the disciple Paul. Further research says the name Euodia means prosperous journey in biblical terms.

Prosperous.

Of good fortune.

Hmm..I like the sound of that. Anyways, thought I would start out with my name. May this blog thrive and open up my eyes to my own shortcomings. Evotia evolved...it can happen.

Either way, that's my name....don't wear it out!

*evotia*

Overwhelmed!

2009-06-04T20:21:00.000-07:00

It's June...4th! I have never in my life tried to cram everything into one month like I'm doing this one.

June 1st - meet with homestudy agency to turn in paperwork, initial fee, and talk.
June 5th - meet with Uncle Alan Anae visiting the ATL from LA. After work, it's DINNER!
June 6th - individual interviews with agency in ATL, rush home to make crab salad for Tony's bachelor party, and supadupa quick kine clean the fale.
June 7th - hubbys birthday, home visit by agency (pray the supa dupa cleaning pays off .. cause we are procrastinators to da max!)
June 10th - hubby leaves for SEA for grandmas funeral
June 14 - hubby returns ...YAY!
Work rest of week
June 21 - board plane for 10hr direct flight w/2 year old toting along (pray for us)
June 25 thru 29 - Mel & Gretchen Makaiwi Reunion ------woohooooo!!!

July 1st - return to ATL
July 7th... maybe head to Colorado??

In between all this busy-ness, we are still working, AND... we are hope to welcome a newborn girl into our hectic lives. We continue to pray that all will proceed as planned. That the best situation for baby, and all involved happens. That all the hardwork pays off. That I can call baby my daughter.

That this mama keeps her sanity....

First Haircut

2009-05-15T09:24:00.000-07:00

*Lollipops ROCK!*

It's time I start emptying out the memory cards! They are running full of beautiful pics, AND I don't have enough to buy another one at the moment...truth be told. This was done about 2 months before his 2nd birthday. Tunoa has fine, bone-straight hair. So when it falls in his face and eyes, it's not something that I can easily sweep away, or tuck behind his ear. It just falls right back on his face. So at this point, it was probably annoying me more than anything, but figured it was time to say bye-bye to my sons baby look.We took him to our local "Snip-Its" which is a hair salon specializing in childrens haircuts. In other words, they have toys all over the place, cartoons playing while their hair is cut, and extremely patient stylists. Surprisingly, Mr. Energetic sat very still and didn't make a sound. All his trips to the barber shop with Dad payed off! We sealed the event off with a nice lollipop. Since we don't feed Tunoa candy (he has enough energy without the added sugar), the rare treat made his day! One down...lifetime of snips to go!

Before shot w/daddy.

Before shots w/mama.

Prepping hair while watching cartoons!

First couple of snips! Bye bye bangs!

Separation anxiety......SUCKS!

2009-05-02T18:27:00.000-07:00

**Daddy and Tunoa at the ATL Airport waiting to board.**

My husband (how you like the sound of that? haha...another post about that later) and son left to Washington State about 5 days ago! 5 DAYS!!!!!!! As of today, this is the longest we've ever been apart from each other (both hubby and son). You'd think I would use all this free time to hit up the spa or something. Lack-a-moola killed that idea, so I've been at home Spring cleaning (sorta).

Olahana went home to spend time with his grandmother (Samoan side). Grandma Ane was recently diagnosed with stomach cancer. Time has also started to have it's effects on her body, and for fear of never getting to say goodbye - my husband took a week off to spend with her. She shares the same birthday as my son. This will also be the first time her and my son meet. So far, I've heard from them everyday (all day) and all is good. Grandma is in and out of the emergency room, and like my mother-in-law said... everyday is just different. Nevertheless, she was happy to see Olahana and Tunoa.

Tunoa is having an absolute blast. Aunty Ane has 4 kids, 2 of them Tunoa's age. They also have 2 dogs who, from what I hear, Tunoa has taken an absolute liking to. Guess we're getting a dog, huh? Glad he's having an awesome time, but this is pure torture for me. I never realized how lonely I was before all of this. My life surely has changed. I can't wait for their return and continue to keep Grandma Ane in our prayers. She is a beautiful woman, who had a heavy hand in raising my husband. What a great job she did. We love you! See you soon my babies...

4 months later...

2009-04-21T19:22:00.000-07:00

... I didn't think much happened in the last 4 months until I sat down to start this up again. We'll catch up some other time. Not too long ago, I was watching an Oprah show that centered around fathers. One segment was about a woman who lost her husband recently. He was a soldier serving in Iraq and she sent him a journal to write to their son. He completed the journal and sent it home with a letter to her. Not too long after that, he was killed by a roadside bomb. He was only able to meet his son once during vacation leave. The only thing they have left is this journal. She went on to say what a treasure this was for him. As he grows he can always look back to his fathers words.

I started to encourage Olahana to do something like that for our son. I have always been amazed by the men in my life and the letters they wrote. My Papa's, Dad, brothers and husband are all men of few words. They don't say much during conversations, but when they write down their thoughts, I've more than once come to tears. I wish they would continue, but you know...typical men. Anyways, Olahana has started writing to our son, and once again I find myself tearing up in front of the screen. Yes, I'm a total girl.

We started his blog at..http://dearkingtunoa.blogspot.com/ if anyone wants to read it. Olahana is as real as it gets when it comes to my son. They are an inseparable bunch. The first word out of my sons mouth for anything is always "Daddy." I play jealous with my husband, but truthfully speaking - - I am grateful that he is always there for him and that my son has a strong and solid male figure in his life. Now that he's taking the time to jot down a few things for my son only proves to me once again, how truly lucky I am.

Anyways, details about the past 4 months to come soon. Please shake me if I ever wait that long to post something.

In one year ... out the other!

2009-01-04T10:54:00.000-08:00

2009! 2009! 2009!

So typically, my New Year resolutions fail before the Christmas decorations are put away. But last year, I completed 1 full year without smoking a single cigarette (after 14 years). Amazing, i think that is definitely a record for me. Now I know a little better, and this small success was after a gazillion failed attempts. Most success stories will tell you to take it in steps, but I quit COLD TURKEY! The effects were typical, and I want to thank those suffered any of my verbal abuse last year. You were the steps that got me to breathe, taste, and feel better. Without your support, I’d be puffin at it still.

I always aim for the stars, and love to throw all the star shooting in one big attempt. This forces me to settle for something less at times. So I figure if I do “at least” this, it’s another step to the stars I aim for. Or you can call them excuses… either way, here they are:

Recycle…… at least starting with plastic items.
Exercise ….. at least 30 minutes a day……make those days off.
Eat healthier…at least add more veggies.
Less caffeine….or at least more water.
Save…………..at least $20 month, for the sole purpose of saving – which is a whole new concept for me really.

Whatever it is you try to accomplish this year, I wish you the best. Stay at it, and pat yourself on the back for at least trying. For all the smokers out there - the best tip I got from someone on how to quit... plan it out!! Set a date that you will empty out all ashtrays, lighters, cigarettes. Keep a distance from your smoker buds, or get away while they are smoking. When you become more confident in your craving control - - start hanging out again =) Plus, a true friend will understand. It worked for me....

Well, best of luck in 2009!!

Christmas already?

2008-12-27T22:08:00.000-08:00

It's amazing how time flies. I can't believe just one year ago, my son celebrated his first Christmas. He was only 8 months in this picture. This year, we did not get to visit Santa. I doubt he would have sat with him. I wanted to take professional pictures this year - but just before our appointment, I had to remove all 4 of my wisdom teeth. I really don't know what I was thinking. I just assumed I would heal quickly and then we'd be on our merry way to the photographers. I need to remember I'm not 21 anymore. I didn't want to scare anyone with my oversized jawline.

Here is Tunoa - 1 year later. We finally got him his own little couch. He absolutely loves it. We tried to wait until Christmas, but trying to hide something like that isn't really possible in our apartment. We use our storage to it's maximum. As you can see, he is just the right size/height for it now anyways. He also uses the futon when it's nap time. Not all the time, it's not like the king size bed that he's taken over - but for a quick nap, he takes to it.

Tunoa and Olahana are about to open all the wonderful gifts. We were not expecting anything else for him, but our friends out here showered him with very nice toys and clothes. It's a peaceful feeling to know your child is thought of by others. I hope every year is special like this one was. It's been awhile since I've seen the delight in a child's eyes, over a toy. I think the last time was when my brothers were very young. I truly hope Tunoa will enjoy the gift of giving in his life, and that he will always remember it is the thought that counts. Although we didn't exchange any gifts this year - - I look at them and think how perfect it is they are sitting right by the tree.............just without any wrapping. Merry Christmas my loves.....

p.s. a special shout out to Mark (co-worker) for covering my desk so I could leave a couple of hours early. It almost brought me to tears. Thanks, Mark!

Twas the night before Christmas....

2008-12-24T19:25:00.000-08:00

... and here I am blogging. Or trying to anyways. I'm one of the lucky ones who work the holidays this year. Which isn't half bad. No management. Phone calls are minimal. Tons of goodies from everybody (co-workers, vendors, upper management). I am the lucky one who's station is right next to the food table. Today I ate more cookies than should be legal, but how often do you eat butter cookies coated w/fine german chocolate?

NEVER! Why torture yourselves during the holidays? Oh I'm sure I'll be paying for it later. Tomorrow our company has catering for those working. BTW, I work for World Airways. I'm in the Operational Control center - so you know we're 24-hours. Our aircrafts are still moving, and sadly some of them are carrying soldiers off to Kuwait to start their tours tonight and tomorrow. Many employees have volunteered their holiday to pass out gift bags and food to them while they wait in the lobby. It's the very least we could do.

Other than that, after my 12 hours, I'll be home with my little one and hunny. This is the first time Tunoa will get to physically open his presents (he's 1 and a half). He has no idea there are actually toys in those "niiiiiice" boxes. He thinks it's just something to look at, so it's going to be funny watching him.

Well, I will be continuing this later, and am glad to finally have a place to share my thoughts or happenings. Like the say "don't get me to talkin....."

Merry Christmas everyone... and to all a good night!